As a guy that is pretty focused on self improvement and achieving greater things, I often hold people (wrongly) by the same standard. I sometimes automatically, and naively, assume that other people have it hardwired into them to be humble and to look at always improving their situation. Whether they can make an immediate change (joining a gym, buying new clothes) or are planning for the long term (financial targets, financial independence), as long as they’re doing something, then I can respect them and will most likely get along with them just fine.
I met up with a guy called Sean the other day who is looking to improve his overall persona. He wants to be more confident, he wants to be able to control rooms he walks into, and he wants to be able to lead interactions with people effortlessly. This is the kind of thing that I respect.
It takes a lot of inner strength to be able to look into the mirror, see somebody you don’t like, and acknowledge that things need to change. Deciding to come to somebody else that you barely know, and asking for advice and actively seeking out help to improve your own situation takes a lot more strength and courage.
At a bar we were enjoying some drinks at, we got onto the topic of night game vs day game. I remarked that I feel more comfortable during the day because girls aren’t expecting anything, you can talk to who they really are, and they don’t have automatic bitch shields up.
The difference in girls during the day and during the night are quite stark. Their personalities change, their friendliness changes, and their overall confidence changes. It has to. Bars and clubs are the modern day equivalent to mating grounds where male animals present themselves to the most attractive women for reproduction, only this time, it’s not just the attractive women that feel that they’re the prize.
Due to the increase in social media, a below average looking girl can, from the comfort of her own bedroom, feel like a princess and like how one of the most popular girls in school did. The right lighting, the right airbrushing, and the right angle can do wonders for a chubby girl with low self esteem and no charisma.
This has lead to more and more girls walking around in social environments, whether that’s in the public domain or indeed a bar or club, thinking that they deserve the best. They’ve got hundreds of likes and followers as a platform for their new-found confidence and beauty, so who’s to challenge their self belief?
What makes it worse is that beta guys, blue pill guys, and low confidence guys tend to find their “swagger” and confidence in a night club scenario or at a bar. This is something that Bojangles and I found to be a constant problem during our jaunt in Croatia. During the day, 99% of guys are pussies. During the night, 99% of guys are your competition. Suddenly, they can throw their weight around. Suddenly, they can maintain eye contact with a girl. Suddenly, they can approach a girl. All with the backing of alcohol and their alcohol fuelled chump friends behind him.
This leads to a problem. Girls then get hit on more by different amounts of guys, and they suddenly wait for the next upgrade. They turn down decent looking guys in hopes of the muscular, well-dressed, chisel-jawed adonis to come up to them.
It doesn’t matter what the girl looks like, she expects – no, demands – that she gets the best of the best. Never mind her bad skin, never mind her chubby belly, never mind her complete lack of individuality – she deserves the absolutely best of the guys.
What tends to happen in most scenarios is that the girl gets too drunk and, realising that this Prince Charming isn’t going to appear, settles for “less”.
Like it or not, as guys, we have to put a lot of effort in to impress girls. The more self-aware you are, the better you’ll do with girls. If you’re not successful, you figure out why and you address it which is one of the traits of being a man. When faced with a problem we use cold, hard logic to figure out the solution. Usually, anyway. And let’s not get started on the motivation required to sort out said problem.
Girls, however, with the amount of pro-women shite that appears in the media don’t need to worry about self-awareness. Unfortunately, there are too many thirsty guys out there to continue giving them a platform for their self delusions. No matter how they look, no matter how they act, and no matter how old they are, a guy will somewhere be propping her up.
When you’re constantly told you look beautiful or that you’re a great person, what need is there for self-assessment? Why would you even try and be self-aware when there are so many people to tell you all about you?
As a result of this, a lot of guys compare themselves to how women are treated. Nobody is there to tell John or Steve how well dressed he looks today or how hot he looks, so his confidence is battered. Men shouldn’t need that to feel confident. As long as you aware of yourself, your weaknesses and your strengths, then you can improve your life and your overall persona with a little bit of work. You just need to be patient and you’ll get there.
Those who lack self-awareness will only get so far in life. Women in particular will feel the bitter hit of the wall in due course, and then will have to face up to reality that they’re not as unique as they think. They won’t be able to figure out what’s gone wrong. As we’ve seen, this then leads into anti-men hate campaigns on the internet and so on.
The lack of self-awareness in girls needs to come to a stop. It will never truly come to an end because too many men let themselves and our gender down by liking pictures, commenting on pictures, messaging girls and chasing after girls that aren’t worth the attention.
Do us all a favour: stop with the social media shithousery. What you see on social media is not an accurate reflection of what you will get in real life. You are contributing to the problem every time you give a girl the attention that she desperately and undeservedly craves.
If you don’t believe me, go onto an independent escort agency’s website. Find what you believe is a hot prostitute on there and book half an hour with her. Turn up, and she’ll look nothing like she does in her pictures. She’s no different to the girls you’ll see on Instagram or Facebook.
And yes, I did book a whore once. And yes, I did walk away from it.
