Last week just a day before I headed off for a weekend of Class A drugs, booze and head thumping to Showtek & Justin – Cannonball, I got poked on Facebook by a young Indian girl. I glanced at her solitary viewable picture and she looked pretty cute, a high seven if you’re going to rank her. I poked her back a day later and went off to enjoy my crazy ass trip. I got back earlier this week and have just spent it in a mode of wanting to party and wanting to relax and recover from the abuse my body suffered for 5 days, checking my Facebook account I see a poke back.
I decided to employ that age old Game routine that’s been flying around for what seems like years and got me lay a few years back off some random girl on Facebook.
“Didn’t your parents tell you that you shouldn’t poke strangers”
“Haha noooo but you poked me too”
“So if I spanked you, would you spank me too?”
“Haha nooo, I’d probably let you carry on spanking me”
“Crazy girl, fuck it, you’re not far from me, 830 come to ******* for a drink”
“I can make it for 9”
“845 don’t be late”
Was just the regular drinking hole at the top of my road, I’m shit at online game, I can say that much, I’m no Matt with his online magic. I didn’t even take her number, I just ordered myself a rum and chatted with the old fogies who always frequent the pub.
My Facebook beeped with a message, she was outside in her dads car and suggested we go for a ride, a Peugeot 607. I spotted the car outside and thought fuck it, opened the door with the thought of how the fuck is a young girl driving this huge car? Turns out she was not the girl on the Facebook picture…bitch…she was chubbier (I call it fat) and was average looking with huge tits. Damn you, this was entrapment, fucking bitch. Thankfully with a Grade A GSCE Drama I was able to hide my bat shit angry reading to punch you in the nose anger. I jumped in, I won’t lie the tits dissipated any apprehensions I had about this, despite her average self and the lying. Thirsty behavior but I’m going to blame F-close Frank for those titillating pictures on his blog.
She parked up unaware that she was at the bottom of my road near a park. Despite the days getting longer, darkness had approached and sun had set over the horizon. I had a brain conflict, this girl wanted to fuck me – tits – should I fuck her? Tits. She’s rubbing my cock -tits – what a lying bitch. Tits. I called her out on her Facebook profile, she replied saying it was her 2 years ago. Lying bitch I thought, your tits are fucking huge, they are nowhere near that size in the Facebook photo. So after a bit of tug on her side and a bit of war in my head, the tits won and she gave me a blowjob, she was an expert, she worked it really well, this fake Facebook profile must really be working for her thirsty ass. Or wait, am I the thirsty one? Fucking tits.
She fucked the shit out of my cock whilst I slurped on those tits and my todger blew out early from all the delight of the tits. Fuck, this ugly bitch made me go quicker than any girl had before. First she entraps me than she robs me of my juice early (I put this down to the no fap regime and watching that Farrah getting analised on her first porn video before going out). Dogging I’d done before, I’d lost my virginity that way but fuck I hated it. She proceeded to chat bollocks about something for 5 minutes whilst all I thought about was being fucking cheated. “Let’s use the back of the car there’s more space”. Fuck sake little Bojangles agreed as she started to massage my cock with those tits.
She wanted to be taken from behind, hmm there’s an asshole, yes it fits…”ah it’s dry……but soo good”. Man this fat chick is nasty, 30 minutes later and I’d still not blown. She tried her best, tits, tongue, tits, tongue again but it wasn’t happening.
“You’re such a bitch, a lying one too, you took advantage of me with your fake profile, that ain’t you, you’re fucking fat and the face don’t even match.”
“Why are you so angry, did you not enjoy it?”
“Fuck off you fat bitch”
“Get out of my car you bastard”
So I got out and walked the 50 metres to my house. Frustration of not ejaculating on her big tits plus her fake Facebook profile really pissed me off and I just flipped at her lying ass. Fuck I don’t even know her real name and I’m disgusted, disgusted that I went as low as to fuck a Big Titted Ugly fat chick off Facebook who entrapped me. Maybe I should hand in my Bromigo badge, but no fuck it, it’s a funny story for you guys.
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