I’ve only had one same night lay in my life and that was with a girl I met up with off OKCupid. It didn’t feel like “cheating” per se, as it still counts, but there are some stories I’ve read on RVF which I thought to myself “damn, I wish I could do that”. Tonight, I made progress and I’m pretty proud of it. second
Fridays are my day off work unless I’m working overtime and Bojangles was doing an exam for a course to help him change career, so he had the afternoon free. We met up mid-afternoon for some daygame and to get some food. second
It was pissing it down and we did what we could. We weren’t going to let the rain get in the way because after all, it’s not going to put girls off of being attracted to you. Besides, we’ve seen Krauser write up stories about doing it before so there wasn’t an excuse it doesn’t work. second
Our biggest foe were umbrellas, not the rain. Oxford Street was awash with them. It made running around pretty hard and was messing up sets trying to dodge getting stabbed in the eye from some beta chode carrying one. So we went to go fuel up and decide a plan of action at La Tasca just off Bond Street. Tapas, the staple of the Bromigos diet.
Bojangles chatted up the Spanish waitress outside the restaurant whose job was supposed to be ushering people into the restaurant and grabbed her digits before being cockblocked by the manager who brought the girl inside to do something else. Bromigo tip when it comes to teasing Spanish girls: if they’re from mainland Spain, take the piss out of their “lisp” when they speak. If you know anything to do with the language, you’ll know what I mean. second
We dined like kings and talked about plans for the future and what to do at night. We didn’t put much expectation on it (which as I’ve said before is the best way) and decided to get a black cab to a bar in Angel to run Jimmy Mac’s patented Value Tap Game that he’s passed down to his Bromigos, and will eventually be passed on to you, our adoring fans. second
Essentially, it’s about draining away the value of everyone in the bar you’re at and keeping it all for yourselves which we executed perfectly. second
Bojangles has already gamed his second chick of the night, a Lithuanian bar waitress who he called a ‘Simpsons cat lady’ and the bartenders are joking around with us and letting us try some cocktails. We’re sat on the sofas opposite the main bar and we’re swatting away people coming over to ask if they can sit on the unoccupied bit. We’re telling everyone “no” and continuing laughing and having a good time. Bojangles goes to the toilet and I go to the bar to get some mojitos leaving our stuff on the sofas. Two beta chodes hone in and try to sit on our freshly vacated seats. Talk about jumping in the grave. second
Me: You can’t sit there *icy stare*
Beta: Oh are you sitting there? Sorry mate
They trundled off to the corner of the bar to sit out of sight. Bojangles gets back and we’re sitting there, it’s about 9pm, checking out the lack of talent in the bar and decide we’ll leave at 10pm if things don’t pick up.
About 10 minutes later, two girls walk in. One is quite big with a cute face and the other is pretty hot with a nice figure. They sit down on the sofas near to us (which isn’t close enough for us to engage while we’re sitting down) and they’re debating what to get to drink from the menu at the table. The hot one goes to the bar. That’s right, fatty, don’t get up now. God forbid you do the smallest amount of movement.
Bojangles and I are looking at the hot one at the bar. She hasn’t clocked us and Bojangles tells me to go open her with the classic “are you from?” opener. I get up and stand tall next to her with my chest out. second
Me: Excuse me, I need to ask you something
Girl: Hey, okay what?
Me: Me and my friend were just sitting there trying to guess where you’re from. He thinks you’re from Ethiopia, I think you’re from Samoa. Which one of us is right?
Girl: *giggling* You’re both wrong!
Me: Oh no!! Really?! Where are you from??
Girl: Turkey! West Turkey!
Me: Oh no, not another Turk! Let me guess, all you do is eat kebabs and belly dance?
Girl: Nooo! We don’t actually eat that many kebabs
I start chatting to her about food and get to know her a bit.
Girl: So are you and just your friend sitting there?
Me: Yep
Girl: Well, I’m going to take the drinks over to my friend. We’re just sitting over there, okay?
By this point, the two beta chodes that I told couldn’t sit with us have positioned themselves next to the fat friend and are talking to her.
Me: Alright. Come and sit next to us if you want to get away from those losers
The girl laughs and sits down awkwardly with the two badly dressed betas. I sit next to Bojangles and tell him what happened. second
Over the course of the next 15 minutes or so, we watch every now and then as one of the betas directs all of his body language towards the girls and looks the happiest he’s ever been in his life. He’s turned his back completely on his mate to engage the girls, leaving his mate out. Absolutely pathetic. Here’s a snap I took:
Contrast his body language to Bojangles’ who is next to me, even though you can only see a bit of him. second
The girls are looking over to me and Bojangles. I give them the “come here” finger and they start giggling. They’re contemplating it and they’re not saying anything back to me so I think “fuck it” and we get back to the value tap. We can’t afford to let them drain our value away so we move on. second
5 minutes later, the betas leave after finally getting the hint that their stiff posture and general beta existence isn’t working on the girls. The girls then stand up and come over to us. I tell the Turk to come sit next to me but she sits next to Bojangles, and the fatty with me. second
I’m confused but again think “fuck it, I’ll leave this to him” and entertain the fatty. She tells me they’re both staying at hers tonight and the next 15 minutes I’m trying to convince myself that her cute face would be worth the bang, plus the fact that she’s Brazilian, and I’d do it for my Bromigo to get his dick wet with the hotter girl.
Conversation moves on and the girls tell Bojangles he should get a drink for me and him as we “need to catch up” to their level of being drunk. He agrees as we’re running low and gets up to the bar. The Turk then shuffles up next to me.
Turk: You’re so cute
Me: Er, thanks
Turk: You’re really cute. I love your eyes, they’re so nice
I look at the Brazilian with a “what’s going on” look.
Brazilian: She likes you. She was telling me over there that she likes you. Don’t you?
Turk: Yeah *giggles*
Brazilian: Shall we swap places?
Turk: Yeah!
So now I’m talking to the Turk. Bojangles has gamed her already even though I opened her, and I’m confused as to what to do as I don’t want to step on what he’s done already. He later told me that she was my girl anyway so it didn’t matter. Respect, brobeans. second
She’s telling me she likes me, where she’s from, asks what I do and all that generic bullshit. I escalate sexually. I’ve had a few instances in the past couple of months of not escalating sexually in this type of scenario and missing out so I’ve been working on it consciously. She’s getting excited, and I say to her “I don’t think you’d like me, unless you like being dominated”. Her eyes lighten up.
Turk: What do you mean, what do you mean?
Me: What do you think I mean?
Turk: Well, I think you’re probably quite submissive really
Me: Yeah, I am. I’m totally pure and innocent
Turk: Well I’m an atheist and I’d love to poison you
Shit test passed. Agree and amplify is your friend.
Turk: Are you really a Christian? Are you really a virgin?
Me: Oh yeah, I’ve never touched a girl in my life
More agree and amplify. second second
We’re exchanging looks with each other and she’s going all gooey. I lean in and kiss her, and after a couple of seconds she moves back.
Turk: I’m really drunk!
Me: Alright, fuck you then
Turk: Noooo!
She spends a bit of time trying to get my attention and I tell her to put her number in my phone because I’m going to take her out when she’s not drunk. second
Turk: I can’t remember my number
Me: What?
Turk: I can’t remember my number!
Me: Fuck you
I don’t know what the fuck is going on with this girl. One minute she’s totally into me and the next she’s saying this. I know what it means, so I just breeze through it and continue as we were. She brings up that this between me and her should “just be a one night thing” which I’m down with. She then excuses herself to the bathroom with the Brazilian. I assume it’s on and that they’re going to talk logistics.
They come back and say they’re leaving because they have to get the last train. I’m thinking “what the fuck?” and stand up to the Turk. second
Me: What’s going on, really?
Turk: We’re going to miss the last train, so we have to go
Me: Okay, put your number in my phone.
Turk: But I’m really not woooorth iiiiit!
Me: Fine. Goodnight.
I sit down next to Bojangles, I’m pissed off now. All this time wasted. The Brazilian says bye to me and I ask what’s up with her mate and tell her she wasn’t giving me her number. The Brazilian goes apeshit at the Turk
Brazilian: YOU WERE TELLING ME HOW MUCH YOU LIKE HIM STOP BEING A TWAT YOU’RE PISSING ME OFF GIVE HIM YOUR NUMBER. MATT GIVE ME YOUR NUMBER AND I’LL GET HER TO TEXT YOU
I’m laughing now. second second
Me: You can have my number, whatever. *I put it into the Brazilian’s phone*
Brazilian: I’ll give you her number now
Me: Nah, you’re alright. Come here (to the Turk).
I’m talking to them both in close proximity. second
Me: I’ll tell you how it is. You can have my number Brazil, you can give it to her and she can text me if she wants to go out for a drink with me next weekend. I’m not taking her number. I’m not chasing girls like her.
I stand up, put my coat on and go for a piss. When I get back the girls are gone and Bojangles and I head to the tube station. I’m pissed off but my state isn’t affected. I still feel like I’m the champion of the world. That’s what the value tap does. second
Bojangles goes on the Northbound side of the Northern Line, I go Southbound. I’m walking along the platform and see a girl on a bench. We lock eyes for literally two seconds and I sit a couple of spaces away from her. Another girl sits between us with her boyfriend and it’s clear they’ve been arguing tonight. I laugh to myself, the girl gets up and walks away with her boyfriend following (stalking) and the girl next to me is grinning. She gets up and goes to the edge of the platform.
She’s wearing these tight skinned leopard skin print trousers, and I think to myself “damn, she’s got a pretty nice ass”. I’ve got to go talk to her.
Me: I need to ask you a question. What’s so funny?
Girl: *giggling* I’ve had a weird evening, I was just thinking about it
Me: Go on…
Girl: How open minded are you? It’s quite weird!
Me: Lady, you don’t have to worry about that
Girl: I’ve been to a “orgasmic meditation” lecture
What the fuck is an orgasmic meditation lecture?! Anyway, it’s a great escalation off the bat so early on and I’m chatting to her on the tube amidst the silence of the drunken losers. She’s laughing away, stroking my arm and asking me questions. She then asks me what I do for a living and I tell her my go to line: I’m a bin man.
Girl: Oh no, you haven’t read Neil Strauss have you?
Me: What’s that?
Girl: Well, he tells guys how to pick up girls by giving a really silly job title to a girl to make them seem more interesting
Me: Oh yeah, sure. I’ve got my Kindle in my back pocket right now with his whole collection on it. Hang on, let me get a couple more lines
She laughs. Shit test passed. We get off at the same stop and tell each other we’re going separate ways.
Me: I have another question. Remember when you asked me how open minded I am, well how open minded are you?
Girl: What are you getting at?
Me: Well, I came up to you because I think your ass is really sexy. I’m coming home with you tonight
She’s shellshocked but isn’t put off.
Girl: I really should say no…I don’t know what to expect really…I don’t know…
She’s looking at me willingly so I kiss her.
Girl: I have to get up early in the morning…
I kiss her again for a moment.
Girl: But what would you think if I just said ‘let’s go back to mine’?
Me: Cool, let’s go.
I grab her by the hand and lead her away to the next tube. Once we get back to hers, there is no resistance from her at all, no anti-slut defence and she even lets me bang her bareback. Her face, if I had to give it a rating, is a 7 with some crazy hair and her body is easily a 9. I wasn’t expecting that at all. Her tits are the biggest I’ve had, much more than a handful, and she’s got a slim waist and stomach with a bubble ass. Perfect.
I fuck her 5 times during the night and leave at 7am. Crazy, but the time between first speaking to her and getting into her bed is no more than 30 minutes. I’m proud of that, especially as it was a cold approach.
I have no idea what happened with the Turk. I think I perhaps used the agree and amplify technique a bit too much and my sarcasm came across as sincerity which put her off. That, and the fact that Bojangles and I had both gamed her which disorientated her meeting two types of guys she would have never met before. Especially in contrast to the betas before us who made us look about a million times better. The girls’ body language was completely different with us compared to when they were sitting with the betas and they were having a lot more fun.
I was pissed off when I left the bar because the Turk had big tits, but the girl I ended up fucking had even bigger ones. Cheers, Boob God.
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