Hey guys, we’re looking at doing a daygame infield event for beginner and intermediate daygamers this weekend in London. If you’re keen or interested fill out the contact form below.
New daygame infield event – Saturday 7th March – London
A Good Life Lesson: Don’t Expect Anything
Whether you’re picking up girls and she’s got a good vibe and seems really interested in you, or you’re planning a trip and have a million ideas of what will happen, don’t expect anything. Expecting things is more often than not a one way road to disappointment.
Now, I don’t mean to seem like a killjoy or like someone who has a bleak outlook on life as that’s not the case at all. So, bear with me for a sec.
My best nights out have been when I haven’t thought about girls and whether or not I’ll pull. Everything in your life needs some sort of plan or direction, but it’s within the confines of that plan or direction that you need to erase any thoughts of what you expect to happen. For example, my plan tonight is to go out and drink at Bar X, and then Bar Y, and then Bar Z. That’s all I know that is going to happen for certain. Anything else that I think about that doesn’t transpire will leave me feeling deflated and disappointed. I will then judge my night on how I expected it to turn out, and when it doesn’t turn out that way, I deem it a failure.
The best way is to focus solely on what you can control – the fact that you’re going to 3 different bars to drink. Though, obviously that may not be a certainty, but it’s in your control whether you go to those bars or not. Pulling girls and expecting to meet lots of exciting people – that’s not in your control.
Using this method, your night will be a whole lot better. Without expectations, there is no pressure and there is nothing to measure your night up to. That’s your ticket to a clearer and more positive mindset.
When I was working last year, I had about a thousand different ideas as to how this year would turn out. I thought it would be completely social, chilled, care-free and exactly how I wanted to live my life. Over the course of the year, certain things have transpired and left me realising that I wasted so much time thinking about how things were, that when they didn’t happen, it left me feeling shit.
For example, I was gathering Facebooks and numbers of girls in Spain before I went there so that I could meet up and hang out with them, and get into their social circles. I got about 15 girls in total which was more than enough. I saw their groups of friends and pictured me integrating with them – I’d selected girls to focus on more due to the attractiveness of their friends.
When it came to arriving in Spain, thinking about all the people I’d meet, I only ended up meeting 3 of those 15 girls. Two there was no chemistry with, and the other I hooked up with. The other 12 I didn’t even get to meet with for a coffee or anything. An illusion completely shattered.
I’ve been on this journey over the past 6 months of reevaluating things such as my perspective on society and who can be trusted, what the key to a better mindset is and how I can go forward without experiencing disappointment.
The answer, as I’m sure you’ve guessed by now, is “don’t expect anything”.
Since I’ve pushed it deeper into my brain, my head has been a lot more levelled, my mind more relaxed, and my overall life experiences better. If I go out at night, I don’t expect to bring a girl home. I’ll just see what happens. If I make plans with my friends, I don’t expect them to come about. I’ll just see what happens. I won’t plan any ideas in my head or come up with scenarios that I want to play out because there’s nothing I can do to make them a reality.
Coming to grips with the fact that I can’t change anything in the past, and I can’t do anything about an event in the future – that I can only control what happens right now – has transformed my life.
It’s human nature to think of all the cool and wonderful things that are going to happen to you, but it’s frankly a waste of time. “If I won the lottery, I’d do this, this and this”, “this weekend, this will happen and that will happen and I’m going to this and that and this and that”. No. You won’t.
It’s nothing more than a dream happening in your head. You can play out an act as many times as you like, but when it doesn’t happen, and you’re left upset by the situation or let down, you only have yourself to blame. To preserve our egos and the choices we make, we only expect that good things happen. By freeing yourself of the burden of expectation, you don’t face the consequences of constant disappointment.
The person that buys the lottery ticket – he can only picture and expect what happens when he wins the lottery. Images flash in his head of quitting his job, buying a yacht, buying a supercar, buying a mansion, having a supermodel girlfriend – but when reality hits, and he hasn’t won the lottery and continues with his life as normal, it’s a kick in the bollocks.
When a guy meets a girl in the street and she’s bouncing around and responding to him, and she willingly gives him her number after agreeing to go out on a date – he can only picture and expect what happens when they meet up. Images flash in his head of going out for a drink with her, her being all dressed up, planning a potential relationship with her and all the cool things couples do. But when reality hits, and she doesn’t text him back, or she flakes on the date, it’s a kick in the bollocks. Everything he thought about and expected and planned was futile.
I’m sure that you reading this can relate to those two situations. I can. I’ve expected those exact things, thought about them, and played them over and over in my head only to be let down by the fact that everything I thought about was a lie.
By not expecting anything, you accept both scenarios: that you will win the lottery and go on to never have any financial worries again, or that you will continue your life as you are now. Either way, you don’t face disappointment or upsetting yourself.
By expecting something, you are putting that idea onto a pedestal, much in the same way that guys put girls on pedestals. That idea then becomes untouchable, sacred, and a perfect situation. Too good to be true, and it is. In the same way that you learn to realise that no girl or person is special and what you expect them to be, you must learn not to place your life and future on a pedestal.
By not expecting anything, you are free to live your life in bliss without a weight bringing you down. It’s almost as if you have nothing to lose when you don’t expect anything because you’ve got no perfect ideal to cling onto. So, make kick ass plans, have a direction for your future, set yourself goals, but don’t expect them to go the way you plan. It may turn out better than you expect, or it may turn out worse than you expect. One thing is for certain, it won’t turn out exactly as you think it will.
“Ah! I’m Jealous! You’re So Lucky!”
If there’s one thing that I can’t stand people saying to me, it’s that I’m “so lucky” to be in the position that I’ve put myself in.
After working tirelessly last year, I no longer have to rely on working a corporate job. This gives me a great amount of flexibility in the hours that I work, the work that I do, how much money I make for myself and most importantly: whereabouts in the world I live.
Last year, I was working 10-12 hour days under a manager that was victimising me simply because he didn’t like me. I tried speaking up, but it only succeeded in plunging me further in the bad books at work. I was going through hell.
After these mentally draining days at work where my social life was taking a massive hit because of the hours I was working, I would get home at 2am and…do some more work. I would finish work, go back home and instead of relaxing, watching TV, playing my PS3 or hanging out with a girl, I would do some more work.
I had a vision for how I wanted to live my life, and I worked hard to make it a reality. My housemate saw the progress I was making and I tried helping him out down the same path, but he would come up with excuses. “I’ve got x to do”, “I haven’t got the time after work”, “If I’m free this weekend, I’ll do it”.
The difference between me and him was that I really wanted it. I wanted to live freely and was prepared to make sacrifices in order to achieve that freedom. He was working less hours per day than me, and yet I was the one who found the time to make serious efforts in improving my working situation.
If you have a goal, you can’t simply wait for it to present itself to you. You can’t just wait for “the right time” to start working at it. That perfect moment will never come. It really boils down to this: sit your ass down and work at it.
That’s all there is to it. There’s no such thing as “I can do this” or “I can’t do this”. What I’ve learned in life is that what a situation boils down to really is “I want this” or “I don’t want this”.
If you want something, you go and get it and you have it. I always laugh when people tell me they’re the kind of person that “when I want something, I go and get it”. Yet they’re living a mediocre life, paying attention to mediocre struggles, and trapped inside a mediocre mind. Of course, if that’s what they actually want and they have it, then I’m wrong here. But, I don’t think anyone doesn’t “want” better.
For most things in life, if your attitude is that you “want” something but you’re not prepared to work for it, you may as well just say “I wish I had that”. That’s how effective you are when you say you desire something but don’t take any action.
If you say you want something, but don’t go for it, then you don’t really want it after all as far as I’m concerned.
That’s the difference between winners and losers. Winners don’t have dreams, they have targets. And they work at making those targets a reality because they want it. If you really, truly desire something, then you will work hard to have it. New job? New car? New lifestyle? You’ll see the short term pain required to achieve the long term gain.
The problem is, many people don’t want to hear about, talk about, or make any effort. What they’ll do instead, as you improve your life, is tell you what I’ve written in the title of the post.
I was catching up with a few people recently, telling them the stories I’ve had from this year so far, and I was told that I was “lucky” for being able to live where I want and see so many places. It really pissed me off.
I told the girl that said it that luck was nothing to do with where I am. I’m the product of hard work and dedication to a target. Calling someone “lucky” for being in a better position than you in life is disrespectful, in my opinion. It takes away all the hard work that you’ve done and you’re simply living a great lifestyle because lady luck was on your side.
I’ll tell you who’s lucky: a prince being born into royalty; a lottery winner; someone being born with good genetics; casino gamblers; a chance meeting with someone valuable to you; and so on.
People will use the word “luck” for the sake of ego-protection. They don’t want to have to admit that if they put in a little bit more work, then they too could have the things that the “lucky” people have. There is no esoteric among us (though there’s certainly a case for royalty) that are just gifted the world and everything that they want. There’s no such thing as privileged positions. Every famous or rich person you see has worked hard to get there. You just see the product of that hard work.
I believe that it would hurt too many people for them to admit “that famous/rich person, I too could have what s/he has if only I could be bothered to work towards it”. As I said, instead, people will hide behind the word “luck”.
I’m not lucky to be able to travel around the world whenever I want. I put myself into this position. You can too if that’s what you really want.
I Had Sex Thanks To A Transexual
The operative words in this post’s title are “thanks to”, not “with”. Don’t get confused! I did not have sex with a transexual. Living in London, you see a lot of these freakshows around and they’re pretty easy to spot so as not to get duped by them.
Tell tale signs of transexuals are massive hands, masculine physiques, a masculine jawline, thin hair, devil horns and a reptilian tongue.
When I was living in London last year, I had the misfortune of living above a couple of transexuals and a gay couple. It was a fucking nightmare at times. In fairness, the two gay dudes were sound, but the fucking trannies were a proper headache.
Honestly, if you are born as a male and have the intention to chop your dick off, there is something wrong in your brain. You are mentally not all there. I don’t care what society says, but if you “identify with another gender”, then you’re a head case and I want you to keep well away from me.
The “Manosphere” and Unmasking
When I was first introduced to the “manosphere”, I thought that everyone would be like me: striving for excellence and hell-bent on self improvement. The more I’ve been around, the more I’ve realised that the whole thing is a facade.
It’s a bitter place, mostly written by bitter guys. Retelling stories of “being alpha” and an asshole to girls is a front for the bitterness most feel at the hands of our opposite gender. Mostly due to not being successful with good looking girls. This sounds like a trivial and cliche attack you’d expect from a girl who’s stumbled upon the “manosphere”, but it’s true. There are very few legit people whose lifestyles match those of which they’re talking about. [Read more…]
PUA Shaming
Any guys who have been reading the blog for sometime now will see the change in my direction.
To be successful at “game” and picking up women on the streets, it’s a lot more than just communicating to them that you’re confident enough to approach them and tell them that they’re “fucking gorgeous”.
Real quality girls, and the hotter girls, will see right through this. Some may give you their number, but the chances of it going any further are very slim. Game is a sales tactic. You use it as a trailer to the movie, and the movie is yourself. [Read more…]
And Brutus Is An Honourable Man
A few months ago, I was going through a really stressful time at work. I find it incredibly hard to be told what to do by people I have no respect for, and when I had to keep my silence for the sake of my job, I couldn’t bear it anymore.
I was dreading work every single day. I’d get into fits of rage over the smallest of things, my thoughts were irrational and I fell into a really bad slump.
I believe it’s one of the most mentally draining things to be somewhere you don’t want to be. It’s even more mentally draining if the person who holds your job in his hands is deriving pleasure from having the power to put you into a state of misery.
It all started with a simple request: to move to a different desk so I didn’t have to sit next to a certain woman. The reasons for not wanting to sit next to her don’t matter, but I was told I couldn’t move. I pushed and pushed for a legitimate reason to be denied the move but my manager was thinking up excuse after excuse after excuse. [Read more…]
Calling The Elephant In The Room Out
Every day, you will come across a shithouse. People in general are shithouses. They will lie to you constantly to avoid an uncomfortable truth and avoid facing an awkward situation. More importantly, too many people allow others to be absolute shithouses to them and let them get away with it.
Some of you may not be familiar with the term “shithouse” in the context I’m using it. So, let me clear it up for you.
Nightclub Bible
The guys here at The 3 Bromigos read a lot of other books and products released by guys such as Krauser, Rollo at Rational Male, Roosh and others. The Nightclub Bible has been compiled by one of the coolest guys I know out there in pick up world – Christian McQueen.
Daygame Bootcamp Review
Another weekend The3Bromigos Daygame Bootcamp Review. Had 2 more lads roll up into London from the South Coast of England, good friends who had varying levels of experience. Christian came in having blasted his mind with the world of the manosphere and having engaged in impressive levels of mental masturbation and less action. Tom was new to the world and had an idea of what goes on in the light of the red pill but had not embraced it. It’s a challenge and an enjoyable one meeting two contrasting personalities and trying to tailor their approaches to the way they are and the men they aim to become. To be honest I believe that the differences are subtle and that certain methods can be applied in a similar fashion, but it’s the subtle differences that can make or break a guy’s entry into the world of Daygame.