I’m coming to the end of my winter escape in Spain and things haven’t gone exactly as I’d planned.
In all honesty, I thought I’d have been a lot more social than I have been and I thought I’d have a social group that I’d have successfully infiltrated. I could have with one, but the girls weren’t high enough quality for me, the guys were lame, and my pickiness cut that off completely after a couple of outings.
But since I got here from day one, everything was thrown off course. The language barrier came as a shock, I’d just come off of living at home for a month in a pretty poor state so mentality I wasn’t very strong, and the seclusion of working holed up in my apartment trying to support myself plunged me further down.
My goals changed almost immediately for my time in Spain: make money, save money, and learn the language. That’s all I’ve been doing, really. I’ve banged a couple of girls and possibly have one more on the horizon before I leave next week.
Once the realisation hit me that things were going to be very different for me in Spain, I decided to knuckle down and save a load more money instead, looking forward and preparing for my venture in Croatia with Bojangles. Working for myself has been a lot more liberating and I feel that I’ve recovered from a shit year last year. My body feels back in check and I don’t feel or look so run-down from lack of sleep and stress.
The level of English here is really poor. I wasn’t expecting it to be fluent, but I was expecting a bit more than what I’ve experienced and it’s quite hard to meet guys to hang out with who are on the same wavelength as you.
The importance of having a group of solid friends, or a rat pack, has become very evident to me. I can’t survive on my own. I like living on my own, but I need to have a group of friends with me. Guys to keep me motivated, guys to chill with, guys to laugh with, guys to go out with, guys to go to the gym with, guys to drink with, guys to hit on girls with, guys to watch sport with, and guys to enjoy European ventures with.
Most importantly: guys you can trust.
You don’t want guys who are going to bitch out when you’re motivated to go out; you don’t want guys who are going to hold you back from achieving your goals; you don’t want guys who can’t help you with women; you don’t want guys who are going to hold you back; and you don’t want guys who are going to put their girlfriend ahead of you.
I’m not one for going out solo, it just doesn’t sit right with my introverted nature. I can try, sure, and I’m an extremely confident person on my best days, but I need back up. If someone knocks me down, I need friends to laugh about it with. If I’m going through a shit time, I need friends to forget about it with. If I’ve got an idea, I need friends to support it.
Rewind a year and ask me how many close friends I have that I can rely on and trust, and I could name 10. Now? At best, 4. I’ve dropped a lot of my “friends” in the past year who weren’t on the same wavelength as me or who have put their girlfriends ahead of our years upon years of friendship. I don’t have time for people who are going to hold me back or replace me at the first sign of a 7 entering their lives.
Instead, I’m focusing now on people who have stuck by me during a very testing year or so. And I’m focused on meeting more like minded people to share good times with and grow with.
A good group of friends that you know have your back make all the difference in the world. These past 3 months have really shown me just how much I value certain people and extremely importantly, that I need to make good connections for the future so I don’t have to go through what I’ve been through again.
I think being with a group of like-minded men is good not only for your mind and opportunities, but it’s good for the soul. My most enjoyable activity since I’ve been in Spain isn’t capturing my Spanish flag, but playing football every week. The camaraderie and banter between guys makes me forget a lot of other shit going on in my life and brings my own levels of confidence and arrogance up.
Had it been more regular, or had I had a group of friends to hang out with regularly, I could see myself being three times the person I am now. Not just in the opportunities I have in life, but my mental state, confidence and most likely my appearance. Getting laid and spending a time with a sexy señorita couldn’t even do this for me.
Even with your friends, there’ll be a competitive nature. Who can look the best? Who can earn more money? Who can pull the best girl? Who can lift more weights? Who can win a video game?
Competitiveness drives you forward both mentally and situationally. Your life will improve with a group of solid friends on the same wavelength as you.
The only issue is finding the guys you want to share your time with, and finding the guys who are equally as loyal to you as you are to them.