Following on from Bojangles’ recent posts about the city that is Krakow, I thought I’d pop in and add some of my own musings. It’s been a while since I’ve blogged here, two years in fact. And, it had also been almost as long since I’d been on a daygame session – until a weekend in early February.
Krakow – the city for Polish sluts. Most of the best players I know are spread across Central and Eastern Europe in the hunt for sluts. Everyone’s preferences on which city/country vary, there are lots of factors to take into place. For some it’s as easy as which city has the easiest sluts? For others it’s which city has a consistent higher quality of sluts? But in the end, we are all out there hunting for those r selected sluts, whose pussies tingle as the mating dance is played out (or Game as we call it). After close to two years spent living in Krakow, I’ve come to the conclusion that there is no European city with a higher ratio of sluts to population than this city.
I’ve had a few thoughts about R/K selection girls recently. I know I’ve been a quiet for quite a long time, not much posting from me on here nor around the manosphere. That’s because I moved to Central/Eastern Europe and landed myself in a 9-5 office job. Yes, it seems awful, the daily grind of office life, tap tap tapping away at your desk whilst talking to some twat half way around the world. Thankfully its not as bad as it seems, my work life balance is the best it’s been since I started working and somehow it’s due to the government of this country. I’ve planted myself in Krakow and it’s certainly been an interesting couple of years here. At this moment in time, I can’t see myself moving anywhere else, it’s as though I’ve settled…
It’s been a while since I wrote anything on these pages. I’ve been enormously active on my own blog this last year, I think I’ve even averaged 1 post per month, but I haven’t really had much to contribute here. It’s harder contributing to the pickup community when you’re not out there picking up. Plus, now that I am on Twitter, I spend a lot of my allocated community time trolling people.. err.. I mean… contributing to discussions.
My final jaunt of the year was with Bodi last month. As I sit here now, I am looking very likely for a six month contract at a city bank this winter. I should find out on Monday if it’s a go and if so, which location. If it’s on then I’ll hole up, don my suit and go back to the professional workplace. If I am in London I’ll be able to hang out with a few of my pickup mates and game by proxy, but there’s a chance I might be sent to *shudder* Birmingham.
It’s a great opportunity to break into the banking sector, so I have to think carefully, but I really had my heart set on a return to London this year, so I don’t think I’ll accept Birmingham. I’ve only been looking for a week so far and this was my first interview.
It was in Belgrade last month where I happened to chance a meeting with a new guy on the scene. We met for breakfast one day and his story, his outlook and attitude were all like the rest of my pickup friends. Honest, genuine, seeking improvement and answers rather than trying to present himself as some kind of Johnny come lately genius.
There’s a short hand way of spotting who is worth listening to in the pickup community.
A) Are they complaining about low return on effort, flakey dates, quality of girls, wondering if it’s all worth it?
B) Are they advertising how often they get laid with bang up hot girls? Do they go on jaunts and report lay numbers that would make the Rolling Stones look like monks?
If they are the former, they may well be the real deal. If they are the latter, a good chance they never leave the house.
Anyway, this fella I met, Brokinetic, he is an interesting guy, new to pickup and currently earning his reputation by trying hard to improve his skills. His own blog is here and he’s worth a listen. So I’ll hand over to him now for his guest post.
Brokinetic takes the red pill
A year ago I was a game denialist. Gazing upon YouTube videos of PUAs approaching girls I would wonder if this would really work. Watching Sasha Daygame running riot around London with his clown like approach would intrigue me. Being funny gets you pussy? Doesn’t make sense to me!!!
I was an amusing guy indeed and I would pride myself on it. I would have girls in my social circle ask me that oddest of questions, “why don’t you have a girlfriend?” I never understood these girls and maybe never will. Nevertheless I still chased the girls that I fancied, in that typical Bollywood influenced way. I moved on when I was ignored and I told myself that it was just not meant to be and that I would meet my dream princess one day. Deja Vu happened, again, and again. Eventually I had to face that I was wrong and I was left in bewilderment. That was the probably the first time that I was mind fucked. I would lie on my bed too confused to even begin to consider what may have been wrong with me.
I was once the guy who went all the way looking for a girl in an audacious attempt to win her over. I made myself miserable, a broken man. The memories of those days still linger in my mind.
Fast forward a few weeks and I decided to find a solution. Being the “God of All Solutions” I called upon the ever reliable Google Search. He directed me to the evergreen Sasha Daygame. From there, I came to know about the rest of the pick-up community. At that moment, I realized that they are a bunch of buffoons chasing and hitting on girls pretty much everywhere in the world. I would waste some time watching some of their videos but really, without pondering any more than moment about them. The door had been opened, but I still refused to swallow the red pill and insisted I wander amongst the fake illusions around me.
A couple of months further, I was strolling along the pavements in Cannes. I was alone and bored. I suddenly wanted to try if those methods really worked. I was in that moment standing on a string which separates reality and illusion. I had to know for myself. My first set, who I vividly remember, was a girl seated on a bench. She was a petite girl, lightly tanned wearing a big black sunglasses with a cute happy face. I gathered my courage and, as nobody was around and it was risk free, I delivered that most delivered of openers that has been revised and reused in one for or another no less than a million times.
Me:Hey, I saw you. You look kinda cute. So I just wanna come and say hi.
Girl: Thank you[ with a smile]
Me: [Happy that she smiled] Where are you from?
She : Paris [Still smiling]
Me: What do you study?
I barely remember the later details, but it ended a few seconds later. I learned much later why the interaction died off quickly, but at the time, I didn’t care. My mood was immediately elevated; I was overjoyed with my baby step.
A couple of days later I did it again. This time I approached a girl in park reading a boring novel. I number closed her in 3 minutes and never even texted her. I believed in it! I know this works! I was no more standing on the string, but had finally chosen a side. A side I hope will do me good.
For various reasons I was unable to practice game continuously until January 2016 but I spent every spare moment listening and reading about the theories. Some made sense while the rest took more than a simple sniff to register in my head. My biggest problem at that time like any other newbie was approach anxiety. I used to be the quiet one until I was used to being around new friends. I would be too shy to show my real self to avoid being casted as a goofy guy.
I took me some time, but when I got my first date with a tall French girl I was delighted. Her face was only average but the experience was invaluable. The date lasted 45 minutes. I encountered now a new problem, a new challenge to learn to deal with. I could not connect with her at any meaningful level. She decided to leave giving a spurious reason about going to see her cousin. Being Mr. Smart Ass, I complimented her on her beautiful high ass, which only served to make her uncomfortable. I never saw her again after that day. But what a win! Only a couple of years ago I would sweat and shake sitting beside any girl, but that day I just had my first real date. I was proud of myself but I knew I had a long way to go.
I was forced into another layoff and I eventually started hitting the streets back in April 2016. The next three months included lots of ups and downs and I was stuck in ‘beginner’s hell’. I would climb up the ladder with a big grin and suddenly one of the planks would break and I slip. I’d tumble hard to the floor, everything to be redone yet again. It was like a game of snakes and ladders.
Recently, sitting on the side of my bed in a private room in an undisclosed city somewhere in the secluded Balkans, I pondered on my street adventures.
Is not just about the pussy. Game is not what gets you girls, it’s a tool that brings the best out of you to create attraction. A fat slob who plays video games, eats Mr. Potato chips and crashes in his parent’s basement will have a harder time compared to a jacked, well dressed traveler with a moderately interesting hobby. I had a better life that those unworthy nerds when I started learning game. It did not take me a long time to understand that getting pussy is proportional to your inner quality. Finding a dressing style that suited my personality, learn new skills, read more, get an interesting hobby and last but not least lift weights. Only then game really comes in. Using your charisma and wittiness, you will have a better time creating attraction.
It’s a lonely world.
Yes it really is, and some people can’t take it.
I am a day gamer. Hitting the streets, sometimes for hours and hours, early afternoon to late evening can take the toll on you. Sometimes you will meet guys with the same aim as you. Some of them will be inspirational, some will just pull you down.
I once met a fat overweight guy from a local forum. Another time I had a guy asking me to send a face picture to him. I don’t have any word to describe these guys. On the other hand, I have meet some amazing guys. Like the Lithuanian guy in Vilnius who showed me around his city and with whom I still keep in touch. I also made friends with Jimmy Jambone during my trip to Serbia. At the end of the day, these guys will come and go, and you will still end up alone. Brace for it!
When I think of a blog post to write, I always think of the title of the subject I would like to talk about first and then fill out the content. When I came up with the title for this post, I imagined it being said as a 70 year old man passing on knowledge to the next generation, with his wisdom gained from years of experience. That’s not the case. They’re just some general musings.
I’ve used this blog for many different reasons in the past. Every few months or so, I like to look back at some of the posts I’ve written to see how my mindset has changed in the past few years and to see the progression I’ve made. This blog started 3 and a half years ago when I was 24 years old and it’s been a great source of reflection.
It first started out as a bit of fun with the two others, where we could re-tell silly stories of pulling girls and having guys in the Manosphere join us on those adventures. It was all fun and games, but it soon led me to writing about the things that were most important to me and the things that I’ve held inside for many years which I couldn’t talk about with others: the quest for self improvement and ultimately, accessing the elite side of the world.
Interestingly, the comments on the posts started to dwindle with this new direction I was taking, making worldly views and mindsets more apparent to me. People want a quick fix to get to the end result of an idea, and they don’t like to be told that it’s going to take a lot of work. As I write this sentence, this blog sits on nearly 1.1 million views in total. The views are still there, but the comments, the engagement and what I thought would be a small community that separated from the manosphere with a common higher purpose, all failed to materialise. As a natural introvert, perhaps that’s for the best because it keeps the circle small. There are more spoils for us, the ones that can see a better (and achievable) calling in life.
That’s not to say that because you’re not interested in what I’m talking about, you’re wrong. It’s your life. You’re just not as right as me 😉
As a driven person, I am always looking to improve my current situation. I get itchy feet and want to be doing something to further myself otherwise I feel like I am stagnating. This has brought me to two main areas of self improvement: working out at the gym to improve my physique, and learning to trade the foreign exchange market to achieve financial independence. Two key areas of my life that have similarities but couldn’t be further apart.
I have an idea with how I want my body to look in the next three years and I work towards that every week. I make sure that I push myself harder each time I go to the gym so that I am moving forwards. The difference is extremely incremental on a week-by-week basis, but if I continue in this vein, then I will be able to look back on myself six months from now and see the improvements a lot clearer.
When it comes to trading, the principle is roughly the same. On a week-by-week basis, the improvements are minor in terms of my knowledge, almost to the point where I feel like I’m not getting anywhere. This is probably the toughest profession in the world and thus, an extremely long journey even to just competency in the field. It could take years before I can even open up a chart and feel comfortable in what I see straight away. Without physical results on a daily or weekly basis, which in this instance is obviously account growth, then it can eat at you in a way that I never thought was imaginable.
You question your value as a person. You question your intelligence. You question your confidence. You question your decision making. You question your worth. You question your decision to get on the bloody journey in the first place!
It takes great mental fortitude to be able to stick at something where the only thing leading you is blind faith, and your self confidence in your own ability. Steering the course and working at a long term plan until the end when everything seems to be constantly attacking you takes a special type of mindset. I’m not ashamed to say that there are days when I’ve felt like giving up, or there have been days where I’ve put things off through not being able to take another ego hit. It’s all part of the process, and that’s the main thing to be aware of.
The message, after all of that, that I want to get to is that you should never lose sight of the larger perspective. I’ve had many conversations with my good friend YouSoWould over this and which has led me to the subject matter of this post. If you’re studying for something, you can very easily get lost in it and fail to see the bigger picture when things are either at a high or at a low. Just as much as needing to manage yourself when you are feeling low, you need to be able to manage yourself when things are going well. You can’t get carried away with a success, whether minor or major, because just around the corner there is bound to be a sharp fall.
When that fall comes, providing you have been working hard to improve and are genuinely making progress, after 3 years you will never be as bad as you were 6 months into your new craft. You can feel low at the time, but mustn’t lose sight of everything that you have achieved which has led to the current point.
Plus, you don’t want to get carried away with a success because you’ll probably look like a twat. Stay humble and play things down. That’s what the cool kids do.
By losing sight of the bigger picture, you can fail to enjoy the things that are happening in the present. As I mentioned before, I’m always looking to improve and on the days or the weeks where I feel like I haven’t, I can get pretty low. I can obsess over the journey I’m on and feel like I’m further away from my target, but that can ruin things that are currently happening in my life. Understanding that these moments are part of a process means I can manage my mood and enjoy the little things in life along the way. Nobody goes from amateur to superstar overnight, and I must keep reminding myself that as I experience lows.
It’s important to take stock of what you have in your life rather than what you don’t have. We live in an extremely material world these days and have things thrust into our vision at every turn. You must buy this new gadget! Hey, look at this amazing car that you can’t afford! Look at this really hot girl that won’t look at you because you’re not x, y or z!
Yes, well, I’ve got a great girlfriend, a loving family, a close group of very good friends and a direction in life. As long as I continue the way I am, one day I will achieve what I set out to in life, but not at the expense of the things I have just because I’m feeling a bit crap about not having a success every day.
I hope that if you’re reading this, you can relate to what I’m saying or can take the message out of what I’m saying. As I said before, I use this blog for many reasons. Sometimes, I can help you pull a girl that you’re after with my experienced advice, I can take you around London to help you gain some confidence in talking to women, or I can help you see a better vision for your life. This post is for my own purposes, really. I would like to use it as another reference point, but also so that I can look at it and remember the advice I’m giving, so that I can keep applying it to my life.
I need to improve on managing the lows. I’m still at the start of a long road and all of these new feelings of worthlessness and indecisiveness are relatively new to me. It’s important not to give up and continue ploughing ahead, but with the right mindset and the right knowledge. I intend to do just that.
I also just needed to write down a few thoughts! Until next time.
This is a follow up to a post I made on my own blog last week. Since making the post I have had quite a few emails disagreeing with what I said. No problem there, but I get the sense there is some misinformation flying around in the pickup community in terms of what r/K selection actually is. It’s very clear from those emails, and conversations I have had with other bloggers, that the pickup guys see r/K selection as:
R-Providing ‘alphaness’, having multiple partners ———– K-Being the beta ‘chode’ who provides the wallet.
Further, three of the emails I received said something along the lines of ‘what’s the point in being K selected or getting a K selected girl, when as soon as they have a baby, they get rid of you because they don’t need your wallet anymore’.
This is a misunderstanding of selection theory of such staggering proportions, there is no excuse. It’s people making up theories after reading half a Wikipedia page and then propagating them on the internet.
First off the bat, r/K has absolutely nothing to do with being alpha. This idea that the K’s are the beta chodes is preposterous. Donald Trump is an example of someone who is both high Alpha and High K.
Secondly, this idea that K women will gleefully turn over their men for single motherhood and Government money is pure fantasy. Having no requirement for the father of your children to stick around is pure r selection.
So you can read the post on my blog, but the main points are thus:
|Rabbits (R Selected)||Wolves (K Selected)|
|Clean Living||They don’t live long. It could all be over in a moment when the fox comes. They live in the moment.||They have to look after themselves. They have to stay alive to hunt and raise their young properly. They necessarily must look after themselves.|
|Planning||Small amygdala. Short life span, high predation, abundance of resources (grass will never run out). No need or capability for long term planning||Larger amygdala. Longer life span. They are predators so they have to earn their food. It doesn’t literally grow on trees. They have to not have too many children. Food is scarce.|
|Family||Low investment in children. They have many and at an early age too since they get eaten. They don’t put much investment in rearing since all they have to learn is how to run and chew.||High investment in children. They have less so they have to put more effort into protecting and preparing them. They have to teach them how to hunt. Children and mating are serious decisions for the K selected.|
|Quality||Rabbits don’t compete for resources. Grass is everywhere. A quality mate doesn’t matter. Just need a pulse.||Wolves see the value in quality. A quality wolf wins out over a shabby one. A better hunter, more intelligent. The female wolf picks a quality mate.|
You can see that K’s are pre-occupied with quality and stability. They need good strong family ties in order to get the best possible results for their children. They also need to put more attention towards their children because they have so few of them.
This idea that my K selected girlfriend would throw me over in a heartbeat as soon as the baby is born is lunacy. She knows that losing a stable, quality family environment would be a catastrophic dis service to our child. She knows the best people to keep around her children are it’s mother, father and grandparents. The reason is that those people are the ones who have the most direct and closest genetic link and the most genetic investment. K selected skirt doesn’t have any interest in Government money and chasing hypergamous desires. They simply take their time, make good decisions and stick to them.
A further observation on r/K selection is the link to politics. Now, if you want to find out more about this, then I highly, highly recommend you listen to some of the Freedomain Radio podcasts on ‘The Gene Wars’. I had previously made a loose connection between r/K selection, statism and freedom, but talk about a home run, Stefan Molyneux takes it to the next level and knocks the ball out of the park, to the moon, and then calls the stadium onto the park to conga his way around the diamond to his home run.
But here’s my condensed thoughts, note I am going to do a much fuller blog post on this some time in the next few weeks, so I’ll keep it brief here:
With expanding Democratic Socialism comes booming R selection. R selects breed against a back drop of high availability of resources, low family values and high sense of predation. The state through fiat currency creates an illusion of resources, destroys family values in order to generate dependency, and constantly creates an atmosphere of danger and fear, in order that people will feel that they need state protection.
Benefits culture and single motherhood are one of the signs of this unholy alliance. This idea that the woman doesn’t need a man and that she can raise a child on her own as good as she can with any man because ‘you go girl’, is hard boiled r selected fantasy. Once you’ve seen the near tsunami of statistics that demonstrate that single motherhood is the single cruelest lifestyle you can possibly impose on a child in terms of depriving it off enjoying any kind of start in life, then it’s hard not to see single motherhood as a form of child abuse.
Just a quick drive by comment here. Really it should just be a tweet, but I don’t have a Twitter account.
Never accept this argument that men liking a woman for her looks is shallow and ignores her personality. It can be true, but it’s not true by default. I am sure there are some guys who are shallow and happy to date a pair of large tits and long legs. Dating a woman solely for her looks, then maybe. But don’t forget, looks betray something inside.
I’ve always considered a girl’s looks to be an immediate insight into her personality and her attributes.
1: Looks are of crucial success to a woman in the dating market. A woman who doesn’t recognise this and has failed to capitalise on her genetic inheritance is demonstrating a significant lack of insight. A woman who takes her time to get ready is one who is tending to her value. She may not understand it consciously, althout some most certainly do, but she’s switched on. She’s taking care of her seed crop and thinking ahead. A slob is telling me ‘I am simply not switched on to how the world works and am unable to make the most of my own position, let alone my childrens’
2: To cultivate a healthy physique requires hard work and extreme willpower. My girlfriend is 10/10. She never drinks alcohol, even when everyone else is, she eats healthily. It takes commitment and willpower to stay hot. Commitment and willpower are personality traits.
3: My girl thinks getting fat or appearing in public shabbily dressed would be a serious disrespect to me. Of course, the same goes of me to her, but we’re not talking about that right now. She is respectful and considerate and these are personality traits.
4: My girl dresses excellently. She always dresses in something that looks great. Even when it’s just joggers and a hoodie, they’re clean, well fitting and colour co-ordinated clothes. Every single day. She demonstrates creative intelligence and a passion for fun and flair. This is what I see in well dressed women. They have a flair and an intelligent consideration for style. She also always wears matching underwear.
5: Keeping clothes in shape and wearing underwear takes a lot of effort. It’s so much easier to have 4 days as slob and just get dressed up at the weekend. Putting in effort is a quality I like. Not being lazy, but being disciplined.
6: Being a slob, being overweight, being dirty, it’s just bad decision making. It’s careless and thoughtless. Not qualities I am looking for in the mother of my children.
When I see a well dressed and well shaped broad, she has immediately told me positive things about her personality. Now this is not a guarantee, you’ll get some hot chicks who are total dingbats and they’re boozing and fucking their looks away, going downhill quicker than a blind roofer, but of the really hot well dressed girls I have approached, met and dated… the correlation between quality woman and quality appearance is very high.
I’ve always felt that there are two girls in a pickup.
First there is the girl you approach, the one that you are attracted to and curious about. She’s hot, or cute, or stunning, or smoking, or slutty or…. and she’s wearing a pink dress, or torn jeans, or tight leggings.
Then there is the girl you ask out on a date, the one you have realised you actually like. She’s lived abroad, she has a nice laugh, she likes Led Zeppelin.
And this is the whole point of a good pickup, for me. You stop girl A, but over 10 minutes you get to know someone else. You get know girl B. It’s girl B you ask out on a date.
I think it’s important that, even if not explicitly, I let the girl know this. I am not asking her out based on my opener, I have to give them the sense that I’ve been spurred on by our shared conversation. I stop the little rock and roll mouse, but I ask on a date the cheeky, violin playing, Led Zeppelin fan who has told me she is saving up to go on a brave little trip to South America… or whatever our conversation was.
I think the key dynamic is as follows:
- Conversation builds commonality. Commonality is a supporting reason for a date.
- Appreciating a girl for her personality over her looks is often very important to her.
This is all pickup basics. Most people reading this will think ‘Jesus Jimmy, get back to 2005’, but there are so many new people coming into the community, a lot of the basics aren’t known.
This is a repost of Jimmy’s recent blog post.
A few years ago I had an unusual conversation with a disgusting, selfish, fat girl at work. It went something thus:
Her: ‘You’re 32 and your girlfriend is 23, it will never work out with an age gap like that’.
Me: ‘I know, she’s too old for me. We might not date for much longer’.
Her: ‘You mean she’s too young for you. Yeah, I know. So what’s the point dating her’.
Me: ‘No. I meant she’s too old for me. That’s why there is no future’.
Her: ‘!?!?! She’s too OLD for you!?!?! She’s 9 years younger than you’
Me: ‘Yeah. That means when I am 40, she’ll be 31. If I married her today, then when I am around my peak value, I’d be with a 31 year old woman. She’s too old for me’.
From that point on the girl I had the conversation with (a fat girl in her mid 30s) was openly hostile and rude to me and I suspect it was her who denounced me to HR when I one day mentioned my girlfriend liked me for my leadership qualities. Someone told told HR that I’d said ‘men are leaders, women aren’t’. Satisfyingly, I told HR that I was handing in my notice to spend 6 months travelling around Europe – should I go now for sexism or would they like me to stay and do a handover? They asked me to stay. They came back a couple of weeks later and asked me if I’d do a longer handover. Ah… the power of having no debts, no cost obligations and a pile of coin in the bank. Work cannot fuck with you. Ever.
(As an aside, a good book to read which examines the intellectual dishonesty of people like the fat girl is called ‘The Vision Of The Anointed’ by Thomas Sowell. I am currently reading it. It’s worth a look).
The truth is, when a girl hits 30, she’s going to start finding it tougher to compete. I think this article is well known in the red pill world but if you haven’t ever read it it’s worth a read – if not just for the reality denying comments at the bottom of the article.
Once I realised that a girl’s value is early and fleeting, then I found myself in a position of considerable responsibility. The girls very rarely see this truth, they think they have years of fun ahead of them before they settle down, but they don’t recognise very often that after 30 they’ll be competing against much younger, hotter women. Their acquired skills and resources won’t attract men to them as much as a toned arse and a pretty face.
It’s no coincidence that 3 of the last 7 girls I dated, all in their early 20s, got married within 6 months of ending things with me. Two now have had children, neither of them is yet above 26 I don’t think. They’ve cashed in their genetic lottery ticket.So where does this leave me when I am dating a girl through her core SMV when I know I am not going to keep her? It’s one thing laughing at girls who were bitches in their 20s, rode the carousel until they were dizzy and then became bitter when it was time to pay the piper in their 30s, but what about the girls who aren’t like this, the ones we date, the lovely gentle girls we care for who just haven’t had red pill guidance?
I was recently with a friend on a sunshine break. He’s close to 30 and he knows full well that he has more than a decade to wait before his vintage matures. His girlfriend was with us. A gorgeous, fun, sexy as hell girl who is 28.
They get on well, they have been dating for 6 months and have plans next year to do some travelling, maybe JJ and I will go with them. So I said to him:
Me: ‘Congratulations mate, have you set a date then yet?’
Me: ‘Your wedding. You and Marta’.
Him: ‘God no. I am not going to marry her’.
Me: ‘Then what are you doing to her, you little rat. She’s 28. You can’t take two years of her market value if you have any respect or consideration for her. She’ll be 30 when you dump her. Don’t be a twat’.
He understood. Using pickup skills to fuck a few girls is one thing. But dating is a different kettle of fish. You’re spending someone’s genetic inheritance. A 12 month relationship with a 23 year old is very different to a 12 month relationship with a 28 year old.
Dating a girl from the age of 23 through to 28 and then leaving her to compete a league below where you found her is a very cruel theft, a form of asset stripping. You not only break a well established bond that the girl has come to depend on, you figuratively take the cream of her assets, spend it to fulfill your own needs and then discard the shell once you’re done.
It would be like buying a Premier League football club, then over a few years selling all the best players, selling the ground on a rental deal, pocketing the money, then when they’re relegated into the lower league with no ground, no team, moving on to another club leaving them with no hope of competing for any kind of success.
I’ve seen this happen a few times at close quarters (not done by my hand, but by people of my acquaintance). Months after the break up I’ll see the girl in question by chance. I may imagine it, but the sadness in her face is apparent to me. The break up possibly disturbs her emotionally, but the sting in the tail may not have fully even dawned on her at that point. It may not fully dawn on her until the day she realizes she’s no longer Premier League.
I try not to be a mop head. I try to leave girls better off than when I found them. The world is full enough already of disgusting, selfish, fat girls who hate men. I sure as hell don’t want to create any more.
I want to do some philosophical wind bagging on the subject of this idea of the ‘high value man’. It’s a rainy day and it’s much more preferable an idea to sit here in the warm drinking coffee spouting my unique blend of cod psychology, wild assumptions and dubious science than it is to go outside and actually talk to girls.
(On that note: This time next week, I’ll be in Croatia, the land of friendly people, great food and nice weather. I have my jingle recorded and if I can work out some logistics such as finding a cameraman, then hopefully, I’ll be able to hit you with some entertaining infields. I’ve also got to work out a way to pitch this idea to my amazing girlfriend so that she thinks it’s all a bit of a jolly jape, rather than her boyfriend freely and openly chasing skirt in the street like a dog with two dicks).
So what were we talking about? Oh yes, how ‘high value’ we all are.
This idea of being high value is a central theme in the pickup world and within all pickup methodologies I’ve ever read. This is probably because all pickup methodologies, despite the protestations of their originators, are repeating only that which was originally explained by Erik von Markovich in his book ‘The Mystery Method’. Erik’s book is the cornerstone of pickup and really, let’s be honest, the only book you really need to read on the subject.
So we all get the idea that girls are attracted to, or chase, value in men. The high value man is the one who will, if not in every moment, but over time, enjoy the most successful and fruitful sexual encounters with the highest value (hottest) women.
Value in women is measured largely by looks. As fair or unfair as that may be, that’s called ‘nature’ and rational people understand this. Feminists complain about it.
But what then, is value in men.
Well forgive me if I am preaching to the converted, but I thought we were all on the same page here. I thought we’d all realised that a man’s value was that which he carried within, not without. It appears though that I was wrong. Now, my last two years of exile aside, when I was last actually involved in pickup, my interactions and discussions thereof were largely limited to my peers, who were often established participants in the pickup lifestyle. So of course, we had shared a consensus on what this ‘high value’ thing means.
Now, as you know, I am stuck in Manchester, working the final weeks of my contract here in Wigan and I’ve started meeting newbies of forums and hanging out with them. After Luke died I spent a couple of months moping then I got this death fear that I too was going to die. My solution was to go out and do something. A band was too much hard work, pickup was the obvious choice.
So I am with these new guys and it’s been great fun. It was one of them, JoeP, who ignited the idea of me starting my blog again, but this is all going off the point. The point is, what I am hearing in these conversations is what I think is a misunderstanding of what ‘high value’ is.
I think it’s handy to discern between values and their manifestations. Having a brain and a good work ethic is a value. Owning a yacht is a manifestation of having a brain and a good work ethic. It would be very easy for someone to conflate the two.
Here are some things that I consider to be high value in a male, just to get the conversation started.
Being calm and reasoned. Taking responsibility. Being enthusiastic. Taking good people under your wing. Being far sighted. Being firm in your beliefs, while sensitive to those who aren’t quite as secure as you. Not following the crowd into folly. Accepting the responsibility of caring for others. Knowing how things work and using it to your advantage. Being self-sufficient. Being fiscally responsible. Having a skill that contributes value to society (an obvious manifestation of this one, would be a good job or career). Having interesting hobbies (playing in a rock band, writing a popular blog, being a pickup artist, having your own jingle – that you wrote yourself).
Notice how all these things are carried within your mind. They don’t rely on locations, circumstances, or possessions. They can all be proven in ten minutes of conversation. You can pick this guy up and drop him in any city in the world and he’ll carry his whole value with him.
Now that to me, is a high value man.
Here’s what a high value man is not, but what I think a lot of people conflate and confuse. The following are the kinds of trappings that low value people chase in order to appear high value.
Going to the right bars. Wearing an expensive watch. Knowing the bar owners. Being in a VIP area. Knowing celebrities. Owning expensive items (cars, yachts, clothes). Having lots of money. Spending lots of money. Being seen in the right places. Having hangers on. Being part of a crowd. Ordering champagne with sparklers in a nightclub. Impressing people on Facebook. Being ‘liked’.
All those things to me scream low value. Sure, I get seen in the right places at times, but it’s not a core value, it’s merely a happenchance manifestation of a core value. I spend time in some expensive bars, sure I do, but it’s not a core value. I’ve had the sparklers champagne moments. I’ve even had hangers on and lots of them (playing in hot bands, running fashion parties and being a fairly well know pickup artist spanned 15 years of my life, I’ve had 15 years of notoriety in some form or another)
All these things are just minor manifestations, happenstances, almost cancers, of core values. I ran fashion parties because I was entrepreneurial, charismatic and people liked me and wanted to come to my parties. The same reasons people came to see me in my band and the same reasons people patronised my pickup company.
And this is it, this is the point of this whole conversation. Value doesn’t mean cars, clothes and yachts, it means high SMV based on what you bring to the table only in your abilities, attributes and virtues. You’re not high value because you have a million in the bank. you’re high value because you KNOW HOW to get a million in the bank and you had the work ethic to get it. It doesn’t matter if it’s there or not, if you lost it, you’d still be high value. A lottery winner isn’t high value. He has the money, but not the know-how.
Manifestations of attributes aren’t the attributes. A man is high value through his virtues, through the brain he brings to the table on a date.
I am going to write a book on dating one day.