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Enjoy the little things

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When I think of a blog post to write, I always think of the title of the subject I would like to talk about first and then fill out the content. When I came up with the title for this post, I imagined it being said as a 70 year old man passing on knowledge to the next generation, with his wisdom gained from years of experience. That’s not the case. They’re just some general musings.

I’ve used this blog for many different reasons in the past. Every few months or so, I like to look back at some of the posts I’ve written to see how my mindset has changed in the past few years and to see the progression I’ve made. This blog started 3 and a half years ago when I was 24 years old and it’s been a great source of reflection.

It first started out as a bit of fun with the two others, where we could re-tell silly stories of pulling girls and having guys in the Manosphere join us on those adventures. It was all fun and games, but it soon led me to writing about the things that were most important to me and the things that I’ve held inside for many years which I couldn’t talk about with others: the quest for self improvement and ultimately, accessing the elite side of the world.

Not an impossible lifestyle

Not an impossible lifestyle

 

Interestingly, the comments on the posts started to dwindle with this new direction I was taking, making worldly views and mindsets more apparent to me. People want a quick fix to get to the end result of an idea, and they don’t like to be told that it’s going to take a lot of work. As I write this sentence, this blog sits on nearly 1.1 million views in total. The views are still there, but the comments, the engagement and what I thought would be a small community that separated from the manosphere with a common higher purpose, all failed to materialise. As a natural introvert, perhaps that’s for the best because it keeps the circle small. There are more spoils for us, the ones that can see a better (and achievable) calling in life.

That’s not to say that because you’re not interested in what I’m talking about, you’re wrong. It’s your life. You’re just not as right as me 😉

As a driven person, I am always looking to improve my current situation. I get itchy feet and want to be doing something to further myself otherwise I feel like I am stagnating. This has brought me to two main areas of self improvement: working out at the gym to improve my physique, and learning to trade the foreign exchange market to achieve financial independence. Two key areas of my life that have similarities but couldn’t be further apart.

I have an idea with how I want my body to look in the next three years and I work towards that every week. I make sure that I push myself harder each time I go to the gym so that I am moving forwards. The difference is extremely incremental on a week-by-week basis, but if I continue in this vein, then I will be able to look back on myself six months from now and see the improvements a lot clearer.

When it comes to trading, the principle is roughly the same. On a week-by-week basis, the improvements are minor in terms of my knowledge, almost to the point where I feel like I’m not getting anywhere. This is probably the toughest profession in the world and thus, an extremely long journey even to just competency in the field. It could take years before I can even open up a chart and feel comfortable in what I see straight away. Without physical results on a daily or weekly basis, which in this instance is obviously account growth, then it can eat at you in a way that I never thought was imaginable.

You question your value as a person. You question your intelligence. You question your confidence. You question your decision making. You question your worth. You question your decision to get on the bloody journey in the first place!

It takes great mental fortitude to be able to stick at something where the only thing leading you is blind faith, and your self confidence in your own ability. Steering the course and working at a long term plan until the end when everything seems to be constantly attacking you takes a special type of mindset. I’m not ashamed to say that there are days when I’ve felt like giving up, or there have been days where I’ve put things off through not being able to take another ego hit. It’s all part of the process, and that’s the main thing to be aware of.

The message, after all of that, that I want to get to is that you should never lose sight of the larger perspective. I’ve had many conversations with my good friend YouSoWould over this and which has led me to the subject matter of this post. If you’re studying for something, you can very easily get lost in it and fail to see the bigger picture when things are either at a high or at a low. Just as much as needing to manage yourself when you are feeling low, you need to be able to manage yourself when things are going well. You can’t get carried away with a success, whether minor or major, because just around the corner there is bound to be a sharp fall.

When that fall comes, providing you have been working hard to improve and are genuinely making progress, after 3 years you will never be as bad as you were 6 months into your new craft. You can feel low at the time, but mustn’t lose sight of everything that you have achieved which has led to the current point.

Plus, you don’t want to get carried away with a success because you’ll probably look like a twat. Stay humble and play things down. That’s what the cool kids do.

By losing sight of the bigger picture, you can fail to enjoy the things that are happening in the present. As I mentioned before, I’m always looking to improve and on the days or the weeks where I feel like I haven’t, I can get pretty low. I can obsess over the journey I’m on and feel like I’m further away from my target, but that can ruin things that are currently happening in my life. Understanding that these moments are part of a process means I can manage my mood and enjoy the little things in life along the way. Nobody goes from amateur to superstar overnight, and I must keep reminding myself that as I experience lows.

It’s important to take stock of what you have in your life rather than what you don’t have. We live in an extremely material world these days and have things thrust into our vision at every turn. You must buy this new gadget! Hey, look at this amazing car that you can’t afford! Look at this really hot girl that won’t look at you because you’re not x, y or z!

Yes, well, I’ve got a great girlfriend, a loving family, a close group of very good friends and a direction in life. As long as I continue the way I am, one day I will achieve what I set out to in life, but not at the expense of the things I have just because I’m feeling a bit crap about not having a success every day.

I hope that if you’re reading this, you can relate to what I’m saying or can take the message out of what I’m saying. As I said before, I use this blog for many reasons. Sometimes, I can help you pull a girl that you’re after with my experienced advice, I can take you around London to help you gain some confidence in talking to women, or I can help you see a better vision for your life. This post is for my own purposes, really. I would like to use it as another reference point, but also so that I can look at it and remember the advice I’m giving, so that I can keep applying it to my life.

I need to improve on managing the lows. I’m still at the start of a long road and all of these new feelings of worthlessness and indecisiveness are relatively new to me. It’s important not to give up and continue ploughing ahead, but with the right mindset and the right knowledge. I intend to do just that.

I also just needed to write down a few thoughts! Until next time.

Sundance Kid

The Sundance Kid is the youngest Bromigo and an avid supporter/gobshite of Liverpool FC. Spanish girls apply within.

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Picking Up Girls – The Ugly Truth

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picking up girls

For a one-off new year special, I’m writing to you guys about a subject which is brushed under the carpet in this “manosphere” community. It’s one of the many reasons why I stopped actively contributing to the blog and subsequently stopped involving myself in discussions on forums and social media. To be fair, I haven’t read a lot (well, any) of the content that you guys read these days so it may have been covered a bit more in recent times. Even so, the point I want to make remains and isn’t discussed nearly enough.

[Read more…]

Sundance Kid

The Sundance Kid is the youngest Bromigo and an avid supporter/gobshite of Liverpool FC. Spanish girls apply within.

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Why Masturbating Is Good For You

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why masturbating is good for you

Now, this isn’t going to be one of those men’s health articles about why masturbating is good for you. I’m not going to go into details about how testosterone levels are affected or any of that other crap.

What I want to discuss with you today, is a few simple reasons why masturbating is good for you in general. Some people go on the “no fap challenge” for various reasons, and I just simply can’t commit to something like that. If I’m not busting a nut in any shape or form for a few days, then I feel flat mentally and my dick wants to burst out of any pants I’m wearing as I get hornier and hornier.

There are several benefits for masturbating which is what I’m going to go into today. The longest I’ve gone without doing it is about 10 days, and that was because I couldn’t really. I was in pain. I’d nearly torn my banjo string with a girl and I’d needed to give it a rest. Funnily enough, I found the 10 day absence quite easy. My body must have known that I should keep my hands well clear of my junk, so wasn’t too arsed itself.

But when you’re fit and healthy, here are a few good reasons why masturbating is good for you:

1) It reduces horniness and allows you to be smoother with girls

When you bust a nut, it’s akin to cleansing yourself of some evil spirit. For a short while after you masturbate, you don’t want to think about being with other girls. You don’t want anything to do with them and you can focus on other things that are more important, like making money or completing a project without the distraction of your dick making you think about sex.

And, of course, if you’re chatting up girls, it makes you more aloof because you aren’t as bothered. Instead of coming across as a sex-hungry desperate pervert, you can be cooler, more relaxed, and you can give off a better vibe.

2) You know if the girl you like is a keeper

I’ve written about it before, but when you’ve shot your load, you become less bothered about the girl you’re thinking about or have just had sex with. If you’re dating a girl and feel yourself catching the love bug, there’s one simple test to determine whether you’re catching feelings for her: have a wank!

Yep, it’s that simple. If you toss your salad and think about her, finish yourself off and still want to see that girl, you’re falling for her, my friend. If you don’t want anything to do with her after you’ve had your private time, then you know the situation you’re in – she’s just a fuck buddy!

3) It’s so much cheaper than dating or getting a whore

When I’ve had dry spells and had no wingman to go out with me, or had no motivation to go out and pick up girls, it becomes a real test of my character. Ever since I started having regular sex, I can’t go too long without it otherwise I start to go a bit crazy for it.

There have been times where I think I should pay for a brass for an hour to have my fill without all the drama of picking up girls, getting their numbers, asking for dates, wondering who is going to text back and so on. It’s a stupid thing to do in my opinion unless you’ve got a lot of spare cash lying around or have a regular income which it won’t make a difference for.

I’ve caught myself looking at sites before wondering if I should do it. An easy way to save £100 and get the results I’m after? Have a wank! No more horniness, money in my bank still and no masses of time spent chasing after girls and going on dates.

This is a real lazy way of doing things, but when you’ve got more important stuff happening in your life, save yourself the time and have a tommy tank. Not everything has to be about girls.

4) Keep your dignity – don’t shag that 4!

Again, going back to dry spells, some of you may consider sleeping with that easy 4 just to get your end away. You may go on a dating site or Tinder and find the first girl that would have sex with you, regardless of how she looks. Enough alcohol will make you horny enough to mount anything, and the 4 turns into a 7 when you’ve had a few.

If you find yourself in this situation, don’t do it! I’ve done it before and felt like shit afterwards. You may not think it at the time when you’re horny as hell and would shag anything to get rid of the feeling but trust me, sit down in front of some porn and have your wicked way with yourself. Order a pizza afterwards. Revel in the time you have to yourself instead of trying to shamefully kick a nasty skank out of your apartment. You’ll feel better for it afterwards.

—

Of course, I want you guys to go out there and get laid, but even the biggest playas are still having fun with themselves. To the Indian guy that hit on my French girl on Oxford Street and failed, just keep tugging your little willy, mate. You’ve got no hope.

Sundance Kid

The Sundance Kid is the youngest Bromigo and an avid supporter/gobshite of Liverpool FC. Spanish girls apply within.

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How To Have Good Sex

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Good sex

One of the most important ways to have a girl stick around with you is to have good sex with her. It’s almost the gateway into her soul. I can recall so many times where I’ve finished up in bed with a girl, laid down trying to catch my breath, and seen these huge, bright and sparkling eyes look at me in pure adulation as if she was asking in her head “who is this guy?”

My “problem” with girls is when I’ve shagged them and don’t want much else from them. But I’ve had such good sex with them that they want more and more. I only want to see them once or twice, but the sex I’ve had with them means they won’t stop blowing up my phone. I know it sounds like I’m boasting here, but I’m a realist and I just tell it how it is. I’m good in bed, and if you want to capture a girl’s soul, then you need to learn how to have good sex too.

There are a few simple tips that I have for you lads to become better in the sack. I didn’t start having regular sex until I was 23 years old, and spent a lot of time watching pornos and learning techniques from them. God bless you, internet. But there’s more to it than positions. It’s all about rhythm, power, and taking charge. Here’s a few ways you can improve your sex life with your missus:

1 – Learn not to spaff straight away

Probably the biggest problem in the bedroom is when lads finish too quickly. When it comes to sex, I used to worry about how long I’d last, but there are ways to improve this. I know some guys reading this will think “well, as long as I come, I don’t care” – good for you, mate.

Anyway, there are certain “techniques” you can master to prevent yourself from spaffing early. All it requires is a little communication in the bedroom, and not being fearful of talking about it to the girl. If I feel myself about to come only 2 minutes in, then simply pulling out for about 5 seconds stops it. I can then put it back in and last for ages. Problem solved. Don’t be scared to talk to your girl about it and don’t be fearful of what she’ll say. Just take charge. Which leads me to point number two…

good sex

“Must think about something boring, must think about something boring”.
No! Just pull out for a few seconds

 

2 – Be dominant in bed

Not exactly rocket science or mind-blowing advice, but you have to be dominant in the bedroom. Pull her around, roll her over, push her down, grab her legs, and move her to where you want her. If you’ve got a girl asking you “what do you want me to do in the bedroom?” then you’re doing things right.

Don’t let her switch positions when she wants to – that’s your job. She wants to go on top? Nope. Roll her over and do her doggy. She’s on top but wants to change? Nope. Pull her towards you and start fucking her with all of your might. You’re the leader – make her follow you.

good sex

Choking and grabbing is good.

3 – The 7 shallow, 1 deep technique

I can’t take credit for this one. I heard about it from someone else early in the summer and I have no idea where he heard it from, but I gave it a go and it worked wonders.

It increases the sexual tension between you and the girl and it makes her go into a frenzy. She’ll start pulling you in towards her and will start flailing around in frustration as a result, which is what good sex is all about. The more you frustrate her, the better the experience is for her, which will lead you to capturing her soul.

The idea is this: you pump her in sequences of 8.

The first 7 pumps are shallow, then the 8th is deep.
The first 6 pumps are shallow, then the 7th and 8th are deep.
The first 5 pumps are shallow, then the 6th, 7th and 8th are deep.
The first 4 pumps are shallow, then the 5th, 6th, 7th and 8th are deep.
The first 3 pumps are shallow, then the 4th, 5th, 6th, 7th and 8th are deep.
The first 2 pumps are shallow, then the 3rd, 4th, 5th, 6th, 7th and 8th are deep.
The first pump is shallow, then the other 7 are deep.

Then you do it in reverse order. Voila. You will be a sex God if you use this technique and stay disciplined with it despite how much she wants you to just go deep, deep, deep.

4 – It’s all about the rhythm

A lot of guys think that sex should just be pumping and pumping and pumping as hard and as fast as you can. Not only does that lead you to shooting your load a lot sooner, but it also doesn’t do as much as you think for girls.

When I first started having sex regularly, I fucked a Brazilian girl where I learned to start having more rhythm in sex. This made my following experiences so much better with the other girls I fucked. Pay attention to what her body is doing, and react accordingly. If she’s pushing towards you, you don’t want to be pulling away.

You should be pushing on her as she is pushing on you (assuming she’s not lazy). Good sex is like a dance, and you shouldn’t feel awkward whilst you’re doing it. Again, don’t be afraid to talk to her – communication is vital.

5 – Go as deep as you can

“Easy for you to say, Matt. You can end wars with your penis.”

I know, I know, but even guys who are hung like hamsters can get in deep. Learn some positions where you can get all the way in and touching her stomach without having the largest member. Her legs over your shoulders for example. Pull her hips in towards you whilst you’re fucking her. The deeper you go, the better it is for both you and her.

———

 

Thus ends your sex education class from The 3 Bromigos. I’ve heard complaints from girls in social circles I have about not having good sex often enough. Sure, there are good looking guys about, but apparently you’d be surprised about what your male competition can actually do in the bedroom.

If you want a healthy relationship, if you want to keep a girl interested in you, and if you want her talking to her friends about how amazing you are in the sack and having them interested in you too, then make sure you take on board some of the advice above.

Sundance Kid

The Sundance Kid is the youngest Bromigo and an avid supporter/gobshite of Liverpool FC. Spanish girls apply within.

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When can you hit on your friend’s girl?

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When can you hit on your friend's girl?

I was recently in Croatia with Jimmy and I ran into a girl that Bojangles has been very friendly with over the past couple of years. She’s almost exactly what both Jimmy and I were looking for: she’s super hot for a start, very feminine, has a lot of charisma, and is intelligent to top it all off. The reason why Bojangles got her number in the first place was obvious as hell – this is the kind of girl that people scour the streets for.

Me and her have the same kind of “banter” with each other, while Bojangles is firmly in charge of any situation with her. He leads, and she follows. Her and I get on well, and even the quickest of encounters with her seemed like reacquainting with an old flame despite the fact that I’ve hardly spent any time with her.

A hypothetical question popped into my head after I said bye to her: “when can you hit on your friend’s girl?” This spurred on a conversation between Jimmy and I, and my immediate answer was “never“.

This girl has a boyfriend, and he’s a massive chump, and she’s really, really into Bojangles. She has been for 2 years, but it hasn’t progressed anywhere for a number of reasons – the main one being that he’s not in Croatia to have something solid with her, which a lot of girls are careful about over there and in particular, the high value girls like her.

Any other guy would look at the situation and see that nothing has progressed between his mate and this girl, and as a result, try and capitalise on his friend’s “failure”. See if he can strike lucky where his friend hasn’t. This is shithouse behaviour of the highest order, and any guy friends that you have that try and swoop in on one of your girls, no matter what the situation is, deserves to be binned from your life.

If you bought a Playstation 3 a few years ago and upgraded it to a Playstation 4, thus forgetting about your older model, would you be okay with your friend coming to your house while you’re not in and taking it away from you just because you don’t use it? Of course not. Why should it be the same with a girl?

When you’ve had any sort of connection with a girl in the past or in the present, or indeed if you’re trying to build a connection for the future, that girl is strictly off limits to your friends. Switching the roles around, that girl is strictly off limits to you if your friend has a connection with a girl, no matter how much you like her or how much you get on with her. Or how much you want to get into her pants.

I’ve seen posts on the internet where guys have called their girlfriends all sorts of different names because she slept with one of his friends. Either she cheated on him by shagging his mates, or shagged them soon after ending a relationship with him. In most situations, the guy who got cheated on or had his mates swoop in on his girl calls his girl a slut and rants about her. Indeed, she may be a slut for doing that, but you need to look at your mates.

Once your friend has identified a girl, in your eyes she is gone from you forever as a “target”. You should also expect the same behaviour from your friends and if not, you’ve got trouble. Anyone that you can’t trust around your “property” needs to be kept as far away from it as possible. And by that, I mean, gone from your life so he can’t interfere.

I don’t mean to label a girl as “property”, but you get the idea.

So, in answer to the question, “when can you hit on your friend’s girl?”, the answer quite simple is: never.

There are certain situations, however, where you can make way with that girl. It requires a little something called “communication” which so many people seem to struggle with these days in all walks of life.

Let me give you an example. You and your mates hit up a bar one night. Your mate starts talking to a girl and introduces her and her friends to your group. It’s obvious that the girl your friend originally started talking to likes you, but it’s your friend’s “set”. Here, instead of being a shithouse and swooping in on the girl behind your mate’s back, you need to ask him if it’s okay to do so. After all, he put in the effort to get her attention. Even if he can’t get anywhere, even if he’s insistent on trying it on with her and you can see all the signs that he’ll fail, she is off limits. Unless you get his approval, you can’t do a thing. Suck it up and move on.

Another example is this: your friend dated a girl for a while and things ended for whatever reason. You always liked her and your friend has now moved on. He built a connection with that girl you like, and she should be off limits to you. However, you think it’s been a while since he and her had that thing together and want to try your luck. Don’t go messaging her and hitting on her blindly. That makes you a cunt. Ask him if he’s cool with you hitting on her. If he’s fine with it, go ahead. If he’s not, suck it up and move on. How would you feel if it was the other way round?

It reeks of scarcity mentality having to weasel in on a girl that your friend has been with. It reminds me of when you see a guy in a bar or club lingering around a girl just because she’s said hi. That guy doesn’t want to make the effort to hit on another girl, so he hangs around and tries for the “easy” way in.

Communication isn’t hard. If you find yourself swooping in on your mates’ girls behind their backs, then you need to reassess your approach and the value that you bring to a friendship. A lot can be answered for in life by simply asking yourself how you’d feel in the reverse situation (i.e. would you like it to happen to you?).

And if your friends are trying it on with your girls, then you need to cut your mates loose.

Sundance Kid

The Sundance Kid is the youngest Bromigo and an avid supporter/gobshite of Liverpool FC. Spanish girls apply within.

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Like vs. attraction

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attraction

Getting girls attracted to you is actually very simple. Generally and naturally, girls react on an urge or a whim based on the present circumstance. Some might call this a “pussy tingle” in which their vagina leads to them act in a certain manner or get on board with an idea at the time, with no thought about future consequences or what the situation will lead to.

I’m sure many of you guys who are reading this have some experience in getting girls attracted to you. Attraction is something that happens with a short term display of confidence, bravado or being good looking. Whatever works for you, works for you. They all come with the same result.

However, attraction doesn’t mean that you’re going to land the girl in bed or get her to come on a date with you. There are certain other elements that come into play that will make a girl like you enough to follow up on the attraction.

As guys, we have an ideal girl in our heads about what we’d love to settle down with. Whether you’re looking to have sex with lots of girls and only aim for a certain quality, or you’d like a girlfriend that has a certain look about her, then you have an ideal. Other girls you may be attracted to in some way or another, but she doesn’t have enough to pull you into opening her or asking her out (except for you spam-crazy PUAs on Oxford Street).

It’s no different for girls too. As much as people make fun of girls on this side of the internet for wanting the knight in shining armour, there is a certain guy that a girl will just completely fall for without any effort on his part. Broad shoulders? Chiseled jaw? Tall? Short? Something about you will make a certain girl illogically and irrationally fall for you based on your looks.

For me, I love big breasts. I love toned legs and I love those “cat eyes” that some girls have. The cat eyes are enough, but big breasts can send me gaga. I’m a sucker for them, much in the way large biceps might send a girl into a frenzy.

attraction

The cat eyes of a previous conquest

That certain type is enough for me to be attracted to a girl, and like her enough to approach her and say hi.

Whether she likes me back is a completely different thing. I can certainly ensure that she gets attracted to me with a series of different factors such as telling her about my life, displaying my natural confidence and charisma, and complimenting her to the point her knees begin to give way.

I could have the best conversation of my life with that girl, get her number, and walk away feeling as though something great is going to happen with her, only to have her not reply to my message. What was it? Maybe the clothes I was wearing? Maybe I was too tall or not tall enough? Or maybe I wasn’t the right age.

In my opinion, it all goes back to ideals, and it certainly helps when I get rejected by a girl to think that something just quite didn’t click with her – in the same way I’ve spoken to a girl and not bothered sending her a message after getting her number.

A couple of months ago I had a conversation with a hot girl that I used to work with. She’s now a model and she confessed that she used to really like me when I was working with her, but I wasn’t at the right age (despite being 2 years older than her). It came as a surprise to me as I wasn’t particularly in good shape and I didn’t have much going for me back then (going on nearly 4 years ago), but it didn’t go anywhere because of my age.

attraction

Now, back in June, Jimmy was talking to a girl that he was having a really good conversation with. He told me that he didn’t feel as though it was going anywhere, despite her attraction to him, but as soon as he mentioned that he was in his mid-30s, “her eyes lit up like a firework display on Chinese New Year”.

The display of confidence worked to attract her, but without him telling her his age, she most likely wouldn’t have replied to his message after he got her number. It’s a simple thing like that, that won’t make a good chat with a girl into something more.

I’ve had girls tell me before that they would fuck me all night if they were single. One particular case was documented here but her boyfriend earns loads of money, almost 5 times what I was earning back then and I had a good salary, and it just wasn’t enough for her to do anything with me. She couldn’t justify trading the moneymaker for the guy that had her wet in her pants all night.

Had I earned more money than him? Well, I’m sure it would’ve been a different story. Had I been older when the model liked me? I’m sure I would’ve dated her.

The thing is, you can’t beat yourself up when a girl rejects you. They won’t ever tell you the real reason they have because they’re shithouses and will just not reply, but sometimes attraction just isn’t enough. Some girls can have their switches flicked really very easily, but they may only date white guys or they may only date black guys. It differs from person to person.

The best thing you can do is maximise your sexual market value by improving your life and making it easier for girls to like you, whether you’re looking for a quick fuck or you’d like a girlfriend. Alternatively, you can join the monkeys on Oxford Street that will just approach hundreds of girls. It’s up to you!

Sundance Kid

The Sundance Kid is the youngest Bromigo and an avid supporter/gobshite of Liverpool FC. Spanish girls apply within.

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Girls Lack Self-Awareness

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self-awareness

As a guy that is pretty focused on self improvement and achieving greater things, I often hold people (wrongly) by the same standard. I sometimes automatically, and naively, assume that other people have it hardwired into them to be humble and to look at always improving their situation. Whether they can make an immediate change (joining a gym, buying new clothes) or are planning for the long term (financial targets, financial independence), as long as they’re doing something, then I can respect them and will most likely get along with them just fine.

I met up with a guy called Sean the other day who is looking to improve his overall persona. He wants to be more confident, he wants to be able to control rooms he walks into, and he wants to be able to lead interactions with people effortlessly. This is the kind of thing that I respect.

It takes a lot of inner strength to be able to look into the mirror, see somebody you don’t like, and acknowledge that things need to change. Deciding to come to somebody else that you barely know, and asking for advice and actively seeking out help to improve your own situation takes a lot more strength and courage.

At a bar we were enjoying some drinks at, we got onto the topic of night game vs day game. I remarked that I feel more comfortable during the day because girls aren’t expecting anything, you can talk to who they really are, and they don’t have automatic bitch shields up.

The difference in girls during the day and during the night are quite stark. Their personalities change, their friendliness changes, and their overall confidence changes. It has to. Bars and clubs are the modern day equivalent to mating grounds where male animals present themselves to the most attractive women for reproduction, only this time, it’s not just the attractive women that feel that they’re the prize.

Due to the increase in social media, a below average looking girl can, from the comfort of her own bedroom, feel like a princess and like how one of the most popular girls in school did. The right lighting, the right airbrushing, and the right angle can do wonders for a chubby girl with low self esteem and no charisma.

This has lead to more and more girls walking around in social environments, whether that’s in the public domain or indeed a bar or club, thinking that they deserve the best. They’ve got hundreds of likes and followers as a platform for their new-found confidence and beauty, so who’s to challenge their self belief?

What makes it worse is that beta guys, blue pill guys, and low confidence guys tend to find their “swagger” and confidence in a night club scenario or at a bar. This is something that Bojangles and I found to be a constant problem during our jaunt in Croatia. During the day, 99% of guys are pussies. During the night, 99% of guys are your competition. Suddenly, they can throw their weight around. Suddenly, they can maintain eye contact with a girl. Suddenly, they can approach a girl. All with the backing of alcohol and their alcohol fuelled chump friends behind him.

This leads to a problem. Girls then get hit on more by different amounts of guys, and they suddenly wait for the next upgrade. They turn down decent looking guys in hopes of the muscular, well-dressed, chisel-jawed adonis to come up to them.

It doesn’t matter what the girl looks like, she expects – no, demands – that she gets the best of the best. Never mind her bad skin, never mind her chubby belly, never mind her complete lack of individuality – she deserves the absolutely best of the guys.

What tends to happen in most scenarios is that the girl gets too drunk and, realising that this Prince Charming isn’t going to appear, settles for “less”.

Like it or not, as guys, we have to put a lot of effort in to impress girls. The more self-aware you are, the better you’ll do with girls. If you’re not successful, you figure out why and you address it which is one of the traits of being a man. When faced with a problem we use cold, hard logic to figure out the solution. Usually, anyway. And let’s not get started on the motivation required to sort out said problem.

Girls, however, with the amount of pro-women shite that appears in the media don’t need to worry about self-awareness. Unfortunately, there are too many thirsty guys out there to continue giving them a platform for their self delusions. No matter how they look, no matter how they act, and no matter how old they are, a guy will somewhere be propping her up.

When you’re constantly told you look beautiful or that you’re a great person, what need is there for self-assessment? Why would you even try and be self-aware when there are so many people to tell you all about you?

As a result of this, a lot of guys compare themselves to how women are treated. Nobody is there to tell John or Steve how well dressed he looks today or how hot he looks, so his confidence is battered. Men shouldn’t need that to feel confident. As long as you aware of yourself, your weaknesses and your strengths, then you can improve your life and your overall persona with a little bit of work. You just need to be patient and you’ll get there.

Those who lack self-awareness will only get so far in life. Women in particular will feel the bitter hit of the wall in due course, and then will have to face up to reality that they’re not as unique as they think. They won’t be able to figure out what’s gone wrong. As we’ve seen, this then leads into anti-men hate campaigns on the internet and so on.

The lack of self-awareness in girls needs to come to a stop. It will never truly come to an end because too many men let themselves and our gender down by liking pictures, commenting on pictures, messaging girls and chasing after girls that aren’t worth the attention.

Do us all a favour: stop with the social media shithousery. What you see on social media is not an accurate reflection of what you will get in real life. You are contributing to the problem every time you give a girl the attention that she desperately and undeservedly craves.

If you don’t believe me, go onto an independent escort agency’s website. Find what you believe is a hot prostitute on there and book half an hour with her. Turn up, and she’ll look nothing like she does in her pictures. She’s no different to the girls you’ll see on Instagram or Facebook.

And yes, I did book a whore once. And yes, I did walk away from it.

Sundance Kid

The Sundance Kid is the youngest Bromigo and an avid supporter/gobshite of Liverpool FC. Spanish girls apply within.

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A Good Life Lesson: Don’t Expect Anything

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don't expect anything

Whether you’re picking up girls and she’s got a good vibe and seems really interested in you, or you’re planning a trip and have a million ideas of what will happen, don’t expect anything. Expecting things is more often than not a one way road to disappointment.

Now, I don’t mean to seem like a killjoy or like someone who has a bleak outlook on life as that’s not the case at all. So, bear with me for a sec.

My best nights out have been when I haven’t thought about girls and whether or not I’ll pull. Everything in your life needs some sort of plan or direction, but it’s within the confines of that plan or direction that you need to erase any thoughts of what you expect to happen. For example, my plan tonight is to go out and drink at Bar X, and then Bar Y, and then Bar Z. That’s all I know that is going to happen for certain. Anything else that I think about that doesn’t transpire will leave me feeling deflated and disappointed. I will then judge my night on how I expected it to turn out, and when it doesn’t turn out that way, I deem it a failure.

The best way is to focus solely on what you can control – the fact that you’re going to 3 different bars to drink. Though, obviously that may not be a certainty, but it’s in your control whether you go to those bars or not. Pulling girls and expecting to meet lots of exciting people – that’s not in your control.

Using this method, your night will be a whole lot better. Without expectations, there is no pressure and there is nothing to measure your night up to. That’s your ticket to a clearer and more positive mindset.

When I was working last year, I had about a thousand different ideas as to how this year would turn out. I thought it would be completely social, chilled, care-free and exactly how I wanted to live my life. Over the course of the year, certain things have transpired and left me realising that I wasted so much time thinking about how things were, that when they didn’t happen, it left me feeling shit.

For example, I was gathering Facebooks and numbers of girls in Spain before I went there so that I could meet up and hang out with them, and get into their social circles. I got about 15 girls in total which was more than enough. I saw their groups of friends and pictured me integrating with them – I’d selected girls to focus on more due to the attractiveness of their friends.

When it came to arriving in Spain, thinking about all the people I’d meet, I only ended up meeting 3 of those 15 girls. Two there was no chemistry with, and the other I hooked up with. The other 12 I didn’t even get to meet with for a coffee or anything. An illusion completely shattered.

I’ve been on this journey over the past 6 months of reevaluating things such as my perspective on society and who can be trusted, what the key to a better mindset is and how I can go forward without experiencing disappointment.

The answer, as I’m sure you’ve guessed by now, is “don’t expect anything”.

Since I’ve pushed it deeper into my brain, my head has been a lot more levelled, my mind more relaxed, and my overall life experiences better. If I go out at night, I don’t expect to bring a girl home. I’ll just see what happens. If I make plans with my friends, I don’t expect them to come about. I’ll just see what happens. I won’t plan any ideas in my head or come up with scenarios that I want to play out because there’s nothing I can do to make them a reality.

Coming to grips with the fact that I can’t change anything in the past, and I can’t do anything about an event in the future – that I can only control what happens right now – has transformed my life.

It’s human nature to think of all the cool and wonderful things that are going to happen to you, but it’s frankly a waste of time. “If I won the lottery, I’d do this, this and this”, “this weekend, this will happen and that will happen and I’m going to this and that and this and that”. No. You won’t.

It’s nothing more than a dream happening in your head. You can play out an act as many times as you like, but when it doesn’t happen, and you’re left upset by the situation or let down, you only have yourself to blame. To preserve our egos and the choices we make, we only expect that good things happen. By freeing yourself of the burden of expectation, you don’t face the consequences of constant disappointment.

The person that buys the lottery ticket – he can only picture and expect what happens when he wins the lottery. Images flash in his head of quitting his job, buying a yacht, buying a supercar, buying a mansion, having a supermodel girlfriend – but when reality hits, and he hasn’t won the lottery and continues with his life as normal, it’s a kick in the bollocks.

When a guy meets a girl in the street and she’s bouncing around and responding to him, and she willingly gives him her number after agreeing to go out on a date – he can only picture and expect what happens when they meet up. Images flash in his head of going out for a drink with her, her being all dressed up, planning a potential relationship with her and all the cool things couples do. But when reality hits, and she doesn’t text him back, or she flakes on the date, it’s a kick in the bollocks. Everything he thought about and expected and planned was futile.

I’m sure that you reading this can relate to those two situations. I can. I’ve expected those exact things, thought about them, and played them over and over in my head only to be let down by the fact that everything I thought about was a lie.

By not expecting anything, you accept both scenarios: that you will win the lottery and go on to never have any financial worries again, or that you will continue your life as you are now. Either way, you don’t face disappointment or upsetting yourself.

By expecting something, you are putting that idea onto a pedestal, much in the same way that guys put girls on pedestals. That idea then becomes untouchable, sacred, and a perfect situation. Too good to be true, and it is. In the same way that you learn to realise that no girl or person is special and what you expect them to be, you must learn not to place your life and future on a pedestal.

By not expecting anything, you are free to live your life in bliss without a weight bringing you down. It’s almost as if you have nothing to lose when you don’t expect anything because you’ve got no perfect ideal to cling onto. So, make kick ass plans, have a direction for your future, set yourself goals, but don’t expect them to go the way you plan. It may turn out better than you expect, or it may turn out worse than you expect. One thing is for certain, it won’t turn out exactly as you think it will.

Sundance Kid

The Sundance Kid is the youngest Bromigo and an avid supporter/gobshite of Liverpool FC. Spanish girls apply within.

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Give Yourself The Best Chance With Women

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best chance with women

When I want something, I want to make it as easy as possible for myself to get it. I don’t understand the whole “I like a challenge” mindset. I think people who say that are either full of shit or are unnecessarily giving themselves a hard time.

Don’t get me wrong, the process of development over time whether it’s a work project, increasing your body mass or gaining money is, to a degree, an exciting thing. You can watch the gradual improvements and feel excited about the journey you’re on. Looking back on anything in life, you tend to enjoy the moments you worked hard and strived for something more than actually achieving the goal.

Saying that though, if you told me I could have £20 million by working hard for a year and having a sense of satisfaction of coming from nothing to something; or winning £20 million on the lottery tonight, I’d take the lottery win.

That doesn’t mean I’m lazy. I just want the easier option to the same end goal.

I give myself the best chance with women by working hard on different aspects of my life. I’m sorry to say, but Game alone can’t get you with the top tier of women. You need to address other areas about your make-up in order to be able to pull these women with ease.

Who stands a better chance of pulling a supermodel? One of the many PUAs walking around Oxford Street with the cliched leather jacket, boots, scripted lines and fake confidence? Or the ripped guy in smart casual clothes with an aura of being self assured from having his life in order and having money in the bank?

It’s obvious what the answer is – so why aren’t more guys striving to be like that?

Well, I believe too many guys judge their lives and happiness based on their success with women. They require validation from girls and Game is an easy way to get that from low value girls. Typically, in my opinion, learning Game is mainly picked up by guys who have some kind of lonely or broken background. So, mostly, they’re easily pleased when it comes to pulling girls whether it’s a 6 or a 9 – with the latter only accessed regularly by very few, no matter what the internet people tell you.

With easy satisfaction comes laziness and a lack of motivation to address the areas that are holding you back. What I mean by this is that, if I can pull 6s or 7s regularly and have the sex which I never used to have, what’s the point of changing anything about my lifestyle?

Sure, some guys are happy with that. Well, I don’t think anyone is truly happy at that level, but as I said, they’re easily satisfied. So, if they’re content to continue that way, then so be it. What they eat doesn’t make me shit.

For me, I’m not the finished article by a long stretch. But I like to give myself the best chance with women as possible when I meet them. Long term readers will see that I’ve become location independent, and I’m currently free from the shackles of the corporate world – an interesting prospect for a lot of girls, as I’ve discovered.

Having a keen eye for good style, and with the help of places like Masculine Style, I’ve redefined most of my wardrobe so that when I go out, I stand out from the crowd. This also goes a long way into impressing girls, and the higher value girls appreciate a guy that knows how to dress. They react better to me when I’ve dressed up well compared to if I’ve thrown a t-shirt on.

I’m saving money and working on some things in order to reach my financial goals of becoming a millionaire by the time I’m 30. I’m also going to get back into the gym consistently again soon after 18 months out.

To put it in geeky terms: imagine you’re playing an RPG. I’d rather spend time before big bosses training my characters up and maxing their stats so that I can strike through the boss with a single sword blow. That’s a much better scenario than going in and trying one tactic, dying, then coming back with another over and over again. Although my way takes a bit more work before the application, the results come easier.

You’ll also find that when you focus on yourself, seeking validation from women becomes meaningless. Sure, you may want to propel your image in order to satisfy the attention of more women, but ultimately, you’ll start wanting to do more things for yourself. I, for example, have an image of the lifestyle I want and the person I want to be. That’s all for me and nobody else. But, in satisfying myself (and I’m very critical of myself so it’s hard to do), my chances with women will inevitably improve when I want to pull one – all while living a kick ass lifestyle that I’ve built for myself.

Chasing women to fill a hole is futile. My philosophy is that you should just objectively look into the mirror and address the issues instead of going around in a cycle that doesn’t really provide you with happiness. By this time last year, I’d slept with 9 or 10 girls when I was in “PUA” mode. This year, I’ve slept with 4 girls, but I feel a lot more at peace in my mind with my current situation and the direction I’m heading in.

Taking a step back and addressing what I feel needs to be addressed will serve me much better in the future, both in my chances of making a success of myself and giving myself the best chance with women as possible.

Sundance Kid

The Sundance Kid is the youngest Bromigo and an avid supporter/gobshite of Liverpool FC. Spanish girls apply within.

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“Ah! I’m Jealous! You’re So Lucky!”

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luck

If there’s one thing that I can’t stand people saying to me, it’s that I’m “so lucky” to be in the position that I’ve put myself in.

After working tirelessly last year, I no longer have to rely on working a corporate job. This gives me a great amount of flexibility in the hours that I work, the work that I do, how much money I make for myself and most importantly: whereabouts in the world I live.

Last year, I was working 10-12 hour days under a manager that was victimising me simply because he didn’t like me. I tried speaking up, but it only succeeded in plunging me further in the bad books at work. I was going through hell.

After these mentally draining days at work where my social life was taking a massive hit because of the hours I was working, I would get home at 2am and…do some more work. I would finish work, go back home and instead of relaxing, watching TV, playing my PS3 or hanging out with a girl, I would do some more work.

I had a vision for how I wanted to live my life, and I worked hard to make it a reality. My housemate saw the progress I was making and I tried helping him out down the same path, but he would come up with excuses. “I’ve got x to do”, “I haven’t got the time after work”, “If I’m free this weekend, I’ll do it”.

The difference between me and him was that I really wanted it. I wanted to live freely and was prepared to make sacrifices in order to achieve that freedom. He was working less hours per day than me, and yet I was the one who found the time to make serious efforts in improving my working situation.

If you have a goal, you can’t simply wait for it to present itself to you. You can’t just wait for “the right time” to start working at it. That perfect moment will never come. It really boils down to this: sit your ass down and work at it.

That’s all there is to it. There’s no such thing as “I can do this” or “I can’t do this”. What I’ve learned in life is that what a situation boils down to really is “I want this” or “I don’t want this”.

If you want something, you go and get it and you have it. I always laugh when people tell me they’re the kind of person that “when I want something, I go and get it”. Yet they’re living a mediocre life, paying attention to mediocre struggles, and trapped inside a mediocre mind. Of course, if that’s what they actually want and they have it, then I’m wrong here. But, I don’t think anyone doesn’t “want” better.

For most things in life, if your attitude is that you “want” something but you’re not prepared to work for it, you may as well just say “I wish I had that”. That’s how effective you are when you say you desire something but don’t take any action.

If you say you want something, but don’t go for it, then you don’t really want it after all as far as I’m concerned.

That’s the difference between winners and losers. Winners don’t have dreams, they have targets. And they work at making those targets a reality because they want it. If you really, truly desire something, then you will work hard to have it. New job? New car? New lifestyle? You’ll see the short term pain required to achieve the long term gain.

The problem is, many people don’t want to hear about, talk about, or make any effort. What they’ll do instead, as you improve your life, is tell you what I’ve written in the title of the post.

I was catching up with a few people recently, telling them the stories I’ve had from this year so far, and I was told that I was “lucky” for being able to live where I want and see so many places. It really pissed me off.

I told the girl that said it that luck was nothing to do with where I am. I’m the product of hard work and dedication to a target. Calling someone “lucky” for being in a better position than you in life is disrespectful, in my opinion. It takes away all the hard work that you’ve done and you’re simply living a great lifestyle because lady luck was on your side.

lucky

I’ll tell you who’s lucky: a prince being born into royalty; a lottery winner; someone being born with good genetics; casino gamblers; a chance meeting with someone valuable to you; and so on.

People will use the word “luck” for the sake of ego-protection. They don’t want to have to admit that if they put in a little bit more work, then they too could have the things that the “lucky” people have. There is no esoteric among us (though there’s certainly a case for royalty) that are just gifted the world and everything that they want. There’s no such thing as privileged positions. Every famous or rich person you see has worked hard to get there. You just see the product of that hard work.

I believe that it would hurt too many people for them to admit “that famous/rich person, I too could have what s/he has if only I could be bothered to work towards it”. As I said, instead, people will hide behind the word “luck”.

I’m not lucky to be able to travel around the world whenever I want. I put myself into this position. You can too if that’s what you really want.

Sundance Kid

The Sundance Kid is the youngest Bromigo and an avid supporter/gobshite of Liverpool FC. Spanish girls apply within.

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