I’ve always felt that there are two girls in a pickup.
First there is the girl you approach, the one that you are attracted to and curious about. She’s hot, or cute, or stunning, or smoking, or slutty or…. and she’s wearing a pink dress, or torn jeans, or tight leggings.
Then there is the girl you ask out on a date, the one you have realised you actually like. She’s lived abroad, she has a nice laugh, she likes Led Zeppelin.
And this is the whole point of a good pickup, for me. You stop girl A, but over 10 minutes you get to know someone else. You get know girl B. It’s girl B you ask out on a date.
I think it’s important that, even if not explicitly, I let the girl know this. I am not asking her out based on my opener, I have to give them the sense that I’ve been spurred on by our shared conversation. I stop the little rock and roll mouse, but I ask on a date the cheeky, violin playing, Led Zeppelin fan who has told me she is saving up to go on a brave little trip to South America… or whatever our conversation was.
I think the key dynamic is as follows:
- Conversation builds commonality. Commonality is a supporting reason for a date.
- Appreciating a girl for her personality over her looks is often very important to her.
This is all pickup basics. Most people reading this will think ‘Jesus Jimmy, get back to 2005’, but there are so many new people coming into the community, a lot of the basics aren’t known.