So You Won’t Have Sex With Her? Big Fucking Deal

Let’s say you’re on a night out with your mates. You’ve successfully managed to get the attention of a girl you’re interested in, and you’re talking with her at the bar and everything is going well.

She’s very much into you, and you both keep drinking together, flirting and maybe even make out with each other.  As the night progresses, she’s getting more and more drunk, and as a result, more and more lairy. She starts acting like a bitch towards people, she starts taking the piss out of you for her own amusement trying to get a reaction out of you, and she’s rubbing up on other guys or reciprocating their attention. Yet, you hang around still, and she’s not pushed you away.

You’ve got three choices to make.

One, say “fuck this” and go find another girl to mac on.

Two, call her out on her behaviour and see if that whips her in line.

Three, wait around and put up with her shit. You’ve already broken the barrier of making out with her, so you know the chances of getting laid are higher than before.

Unfortunately, most guys go for option three. Even if they’ve not made out with the girl, they’ll hang around because that initial barrier has been broken and they have an in with the girl. Even if it’s just a little hello and small talk, the guys will stand around.

It’s extremely painful to watch and it comes from a scarcity mentality and having low value. They’ll be clinging onto something that’s not even there, waiting for the girl to make her move that will hopefully end up in him getting laid. It never works.

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Option two, although you will let a girl know that you won’t tolerate her behaviour, it often doesn’t work very well with girls you’ve just met. They’ll get put off very easily about how “angry” you’ve got and won’t understand your reasonings for it. You’ll feel good about not putting up with shit, but it won’t really mend anything, and you’ll walk away frustrated and pissed off.

It’s much better to go for option one because it saves your dignity, and it saves your mood from being spoiled. It’s also kind of fun.

The thing is, you’ve got to be prepared to not give a fuck whether you have sex that night or not. My nights are much more enjoyable when I go out and I genuinely don’t care about the results. If I get laid, cool. If I don’t get laid, cool. It just keeps my mind in better shape.

I went out about 6 weeks ago solo to meet a girl I was chatting to from Tinder and a couple of her friends. I went out against my better judgement, but I didn’t have much else to do that night so thought I may as well.

I’d regressed a bit since I got out here. A combination of not speaking the language, not knowing people and being holed up in my apartment working and earning money had got to me. My overall state wasn’t too good.

During the night, I started talking to some random dudes in one of the bars because I could hear they were talking English. They then took this as an excuse to hit on the girls I was with. The girls were lapping it up big time, and I got us all to eject from the club as quickly as possible because my value was draining. They went to get their bags and coats from the cloak room, and the guys left the club in their absence.

The thing is, when we left, that whole group of guys were waiting outside and ambushed the girls again. There were about 13 or 14 of them fighting over each other to talk to the girls. I couldn’t get a word in and I stood away from the group watching what was happening. Luckily, with the knowledge I have, I could assess the situation and understand how to deal with it. However, being a bit drunk and not being my usual self, I walked up to the girls and dragged them away and berated them.

I told them off for inviting me out and ditching me for some dorks. They didn’t understand why I was angry, but I got them to agree to leave with me. I felt like I’d done the right thing and that I was in control. However,  as we were walking away, about 50 metres up the road, one of the girls decided she wanted to go back to the club (where the guys were still hanging around) “to go to the toilet”.

I’d lost too much value. At this point I said “fuck it” and hailed a cab, and got in it without saying another word to them. I should have done this at the beginning when they made no attempt to find me outside of the club.

Had I not known any better, I perhaps would’ve waited around to see what the girls wanted to do and tagged along in the hope of getting somewhere with one of them. I didn’t hang around, and although I took control of the scene, I felt like a twat for being disrespected like that even though I did leave. It surprised them and the girl I was more into texted me about it……the next day when she was sober. I sent a dick pic to her because I had no intention of talking to her again. She blocked me, and that was that. Ha!

The thing is, for the sake of my own self respect, I walked away empty handed and I was fine with it. I’d rather to do that than feel my value being drained every passing minute watching these nerds climb over each other to get a word in to a girl as if they’ve spoken to one before.

On a night out, you’ll see guys accepting that level of disrespect all the time. I can’t bear the sight of it, and they really shouldn’t have to put up with a girl’s bad behaviour. They do it so they don’t step on her toes to try and get laid by keeping in her good books. This does not work. End of.

It’s the same in relationships as well. If a girl is acting like a bitch, don’t put up with it for the sake of your dignity. Call girls out on their behaviour and accept the consequences: you may piss her off and not have sex with her that night, but at least you can respect yourself.

Think you’ve got a girl in the bag but she’s annoying you? If you’re not going to get laid by telling her to fuck off and leave you alone, so be it. No girl is worth putting up with if she has a shitty attitude for the sake of sex.

Guys need to realise that it’s not their life mission to keep a girl happy. I can’t understand this mindset. Watch a guy apologise and try to reason with his girlfriend if she’s annoyed or upset. It’s pathetic. You’re a man, so start fucking acting like one. Don’t bitch out because your girl isn’t happy.

Respect yourself enough to have girls around you behaving in a way that you want them to behave. If you’re trying to get laid, you’ve got to be prepared to walk away from the possibility of having sex for the sake of your own dignity and pride. It doesn’t matter if you won’t have sex with her by telling her to stop acting in a certain way or calling her out on the way she’s behaving. It’s just sex. You can find someone else who will have sex with you.

Don’t hang around a girl you have to sacrifice your dignity for because you’re too lazy to break another barrier by saying hi to another girl.

More often than not, if you’ve set the right frame from the beginning anyway, then telling her off will actually turn her on more and will make her submit to you. So all of this won’t be an issue. The minute you start pandering to a girl, or you let her walk all over you to try stay in her good books, the further away from sex you’ll become.

For fuck sake, have some pride and walk away. Stop putting so much stock into girls, and stop putting so much stock into sex. If you don’t have sex with her, big fucking deal. Wanking is a great and at least you get the bed to yourself.

Matt

Matt is the youngest Bromigo and an avid supporter/gobshite of Liverpool FC. Spanish girls apply within.

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