They say that men are better at planning for the future than women, and women tend to only think about the now without any thought of the consequences later on.
Generally it’s true, it’s written into the female biological make up. It’s a part of who they are. They’ll act on emotion and really won’t care about the future consequences of their actions in the present. Generally, men will make a more logical decision and think about repercussions before acting.
Humans, as a whole these days, will live in a “I’ll deal with it when the time comes” kind of mindset. I’m sure everyone is guilty of it, as I am myself, and it’s a particularly common mindset for people in their 20s, as I am.
People don’t want to worry about how they’re going to maintain a certain lifestyle when they’re retired. They’d rather think about that closer to the time. People don’t want to worry about making a decent living or career, they just want to party and live in the moment. They’d rather think about that closer to the time. People don’t want to worry about their health, they’d rather worry about it when they finally settle down.
I know this girl, and I met up with her on Sunday, who is a complete party girl. Her motto has been the cliched and overused-by-white-girls-on-the-internet “here for a fun time, not a long time”. She’s in her late 20s and her body can’t keep up with her now. She’s spent most of her 20s partying and travelling (aka taking dick) and now that she can no longer afford to do it financially and in health, she has no clue what to do with her life. She’s taken a temp job as a bar promoter which she hates but is the only job she was accepted into. She has no prospects, no relevant experience in any field, no degree and absolutely no clue what to do with herself.
I told her that she’s fortunate enough to be a girl, so she can find a guy who will happily provide for her. That seems to be her only realistic option, outside of going to university and getting a degree, but even then that’s not a given.
Too much is made these days about “live in the now” which is fine, but you need to think forwardly to prepare yourself for the inevitabilities in life. One day you will retire and will need to be able to support yourself, one day your health will deteriorate and you will need to be able to make sure you can get adequate care, one day you will want to have kids, a family home and a wife, and all of this costs money.
And one day, you will die.
Humans avoid the subject of death as much as possible. It’s something we don’t want to hear about or talk about because we like to fool ourselves into thinking that we’re invincible and bad things aren’t going to happen to us. But the fact is, one day, you will die.
In a way, it’s a sobering thought. You are not invincible, you are not immortal and you are just the same as every other fleshy meatbag on this planet. You are not special.
Now, you can take it one of two ways. The first, you can worry about it closer to the time, as most people do and live the rest of their lives with too many regrets, as they’ve spent most of their years coasting along and missing opportunities with a “I’ll do it later” mindset. The second is to consciously make an effort to build the best life for yourself while preparing for those inevitabilities in life.
A lot of my friends from school and the people I know on my Facebook have done things the wrong way round, in my opinion. They’ve spent their years from 18-24 going travelling, having gap years and partying. For the rest of their lives, they will now work careers to pay for the things I mentioned above.
I’m doing things the other way round. I’ve spent the past few years of my life working, building myself up and am now thinking long term in regards to my money. In the next few years, I want to be completely free of relying on full time employment for the rest of my life.
When you look at yourself and tell yourself that one day you will die, it’s the first step into looking at what other flaws you have in your life. Everyone knows that they will die, but they don’t want to believe it and will convince themselves that they won’t.
You can start to look into yourself and think a bit more objectively about what you need to improve in your life. If you can tell yourself that you’re going to die one day, you can tell yourself that you’re too thin, you’re too fat, your skin is bad, your hair is receding, your teeth need straightening, and so on. Only then will you make a conscious decision to change these.
For me, it started on the outside. The things I don’t like about myself physically I’ve altered and am still in the process of altering. I’m a perfectionist so I’ll never see myself as a finished article, but I had to have a good look in the mirror and not shy away from my physical flaws as people do regarding death. That’s when I decided to change myself rather than avoid my own gaze, as I had done for some time.
Look at yourself in the mirror. Don’t pose, don’t make a face, don’t move a muscle. Just look at yourself and study yourself. What do you want to change? What don’t you like? Don’t focus on the things that you have going for you, focus on the things you feel are holding you back.
One step leads to another. When you can look at yourself without emotion, as with anything in life, you can make a better decision after deciding what direction you want to go in. Once that confidence comes from improving your outside appearance, your inner self will feel a lot more confident.
It’s only when you stop seeing yourself as perfect (and trust me, a lot of people do see themselves as that) that you can improve yourself. When you stop kidding yourself and trying to kid others, your life will be more rewarding because the uncomfortable actions you take to improve yourself will improve your life too.
Don’t avoid the nitty gritty, and don’t put it on hold. If you want to make steps forward in life, you have to take action. That starts by accepting the cold, hard truths that you don’t want to think or talk about.