I’m going to open this up to something personal that I wrote at the end of 2009 back when I was just about to turn 21.
They are thoughts that I’d been harbouring for quite some time before I’d written them but had been prompted to write them down at that stage of my life due to uprooting to the Middle East and chasing a monetary dream.
Sadly, it was only that; a dream. I learned some great lessons and had some beliefs I’d always had cemented into my brain thanks to the adventure I had. The thoughts I’d written down seem a bit far-fetched but they tie in to the post I wrote about Power and Status last week and the social hierarchy that I believe exists.
I had a good conversation with YouSoWould on Sunday evening over some food about our aspirations, and the observations and values we’ve taken from the red pill world, and indeed gaming girls. Well, I ate, but he’s watching his figure.
Naturally, the subject of higher status came up and I mentioned to him these notes I’d written a few years ago that I’m keen to share, even though as I said they seem a bit far-fetched from certain perspectives and full of teenage angst. Here’s what I wrote back in 2009:
Who’s to say what I should do with my life, what direction to take, what I should aim for?
We’re brought into this world, and straight away we follow a system. Nursery, primary school, secondary school, college, university, a job working for some company, retirement. I’m surrounded by people who, to me, just look like drones doing what they’ve been told to do. No one ever seems to want to challenge the system or ask questions about it? Sure, to a degree it’s secure because you get paid exactly the same each month and based on that, you can get figure out buying a house which you’ll spend the majority of your working life paying for.
The way I see life is that it’s like a massive ladder, and we’re at the bottom. At the top is some fat, stinking rich guy having everything done for him watching everyone at the bottom, these ants, plug in every day and do the same thing over and over again like hamsters on a wheel. So, someone must’ve invented the system? How did that person get to the top? Because he sure didn’t follow a system to get there. No one dictated to him how to live his life.
I look at people every day and I can’t stand the thought of becoming like them. Working just to pay bills and doing things that they’ve been told to.
I want to live the high life, live in the best apartments, meet like minded people who didn’t want to settle for the ordinary, travel the world with the most beautiful women and see extraordinary things.
And this picture has been in my head of a sort of plateau where all the rich and famous people hang out. Like in a nightclub where the VIP area is sectioned off from the rest. I want to be on that plateau and I know I will be. Who’s to say I can’t do it? Everyone else who’s around me who can’t see past their own cycle?
Everything that’s happened to me in my life has happened for a reason, and I’m beginning to piece parts of that puzzle together. I genuinely, 100% feel as if I’ve been given a gift to see past “the norm”. I’m lonely in everything I do, wherever I go and I don’t see it as negative.
It’s given me the freedom to chase the light that I can see that most can’t. I’m an outsider even with my closest friends. I’m beginning to realise that it’s what needs to happen. I can’t be close to them. In a way it’s sad, but I’ve got no real ties with them. I love them to pieces and we’ve had some amazing memories together, but if we were all so close now, they’d only hold me back to follow my ambition.
As I said, full of angst, but you get the point.
If anyone is able to understand where I’m coming from, it’s the red pill/manosphere world, but even now what I’m seeing in it and reading has lead me to believe that even with this eye into reality that everyone in the community has, there’s still a lot of self limitations and mediocrity.
As I mentioned in the post about power and status, a lot of guys are locked up in Tier 2 and it’s just not for me. It’s not for me to dictate how people should live their lives and how they should think, but it’s just something I can’t comprehend. I can’t comprehend people not aiming for the absolute best, and I can’t comprehend people settling for still being cogs in a machine but just with a different view on the world.
I’m not saying people should go and chase things that they don’t want, because people genuinely don’t want the things I want, and if people are happy to settle for something which I think is mediocre, then I’m happy for them. I just don’t understand it.
I’ve always wanted to be separate from everyone else and I’ve always wanted to stand out for the better. I don’t know why I’ve had this mindset, as I’ve had it ever since I was a kid, but it leads me to chase perfection and to break away from the people and lifestyle that I don’t want.
When I did a door to door sales job, my eyes really opened up to the world. I realised very quickly how insignificant in the grand scheme of things most peoples’ lives are, but how quick people are to think that their situation is completely unique. They would get a superiority complex over a material possession that’s just come out that they have ownership of, or they would brag about a piece of furniture they own.
The first time I heard it, I sincerely thought to myself “wow, they have it made”. When you start knocking on thousands of doors and going into hundreds of houses, and seeing different people brag about the same things it makes something click in your brain that this isn’t the lifestyle you want and this isn’t the lifestyle you want to chase, and this isn’t the lifestyle you feel happy settling for.
Now, they didn’t know any better so I can’t call them out on it, but I did know better. Again, it just made me reach higher to separate myself and it made me take a look inwards and think about the things I do, the situation I’m in and the traits I have that make me feel unique.
I abandoned any thoughts of being a special little snowflake. I’m not unique and there wasn’t anything to separate me from the rest. Once I realised that, I was able to more effectively move forward.
The problem is, people do think they’re unique and that their problems are unique, and that they’re the first ones to experience certain things, but they’re not. It’s a bad thing to think because it will limit you in your life. As Will Smith says in this video, there are millions of people that have lived on this planet before us that have had our problems.
The moment you are free from thinking you are special, your belief of self entitlement leaves you and your self limitation leaves you, and your mind will open up to the possibility that you can achieve whatever you want to achieve. Most importantly, you will start to see people as not being special who have achieved something in their lives and you will gain the thought that if someone else can do it, you can do it too.
So, I’ve had two different epiphanies in my life. The first was breaking away from “the Matrix” and seeing the world for what it really is, and the second was breaking away from that higher tier that do know better, to get to the highest.