Dissociation (n) – an experience of having one’s attention and emotions detached from an environment
One of the worst things I’ve found about the red pill is your bare naked evaluation of yourself and those around you.
After learning about the red pill world and how to better myself as a person in order to really achieve the things I want to achieve in life, I’ve looked at myself in the mirror for who I really am and not who I want to see.
All the faults I used to hide or push to the back of my brain are now at the front of my thoughts so that I can tackle them head on. Dissociating myself away from bad habits and “comfortable thoughts” have enabled me to push out of my comfort zone and face up to the issues that were holding me back that I never wanted to admit to myself.
If you’re able to look at your life from the outside, in a third person perspective, you can go a certain way into evaluating yourself without the hassle of emotional attachment influencing your decisions.
You can look at the things going on in your life in a logical manner and make the necessary decisions in order to move forward effectively, and free yourself from the things that are holding you back that you don’t want to necessarily let go of.
One of the things this red pill knowledge has given me is the ability to look at things a lot more objectively. I’m able to look at both myself and others and offer advice without emotional factors getting in the way if its for the best for me or whoever I’m talking to.
In the same way you read this now, if I were to tell you that there’s a girl I’m really into and she’s treating me like shit, and that I don’t look at other girls because I’m so infatuated with her and I let her take advantage of me financially, what advice would you offer me?
Would your advice be based on my or your emotions, or would your advice be based on pure logic? This girl is treating me like shit and running me into the ground, so get out of there, right? You don’t know me, you don’t know my life, so all there is for you to do is to look at the stone cold facts and make your judgements based on that.
Imagine being able to look at your own life like that. In that situation, I’m infatuated with the girl and anyone who’s ever been in a similar scenario with a girl will say that you didn’t want to break up with the girl. You wanted to keep her in your life and keep providing for her and looking out for her even though it doesn’t make sense to. “A fool in love”.
Strip away everything, dissociate yourself from emotions and you’re able to make a far more effective decision to aid you. One of the best methods I’ve used to think in this way is asking myself “if someone asked me help for this problem, what advice would I give them?”
Knowing the answer, and acting on the answer are two different things though. But if you’re making steps to know the right, logical answer then you’re on your way there.
This trail of thought leads me onto a couple of recent decisions I’ve had to make myself.
The first is that of one of my best friends from back home. We’ve practically been brothers for the past 15 years or so, right from school, and I’m extremely close to his family.
We don’t see each other as much as we used to on account of living a few hundred miles away from each other, but even so we normally remain in contact a lot.
When we were in Sixth Form, he went out with a girl for 3 or 4 years and suddenly our friendship became almost non-existant to him. I was put in the backseat at the drop of a hat and I wasn’t prioritised for any plans I wanted to make. It wasn’t a “yeah, I’m free on Saturday” when asked if we could do something, it became “I don’t know what I’m doing on Saturday yet”.
A bit of a shithouse thing, but I put up with it because he was my best friend. I would go out of my way to see him on those rare occasions he was free.
He broke up with the girl eventually, she cheated on him and I helped him make the decision to get rid of her. For a few years after this, everything was back to normal.
Then, he met “the hottest girl I’ve ever been with” back in January of this year.
Same old story as last time. I never hear from him, he doesn’t respond to my messages and he doesn’t see our other mates. He’s become completely infatuated by this girl. I said to myself I’d give it a chance.
He doesn’t visit me here in London. I go back home to visit him. So after a couple of times of forking out money on the train to go back, I saw the reality of the situation and how far gone he was. I only go back to see him at times, and have done so without even telling my mum I’m only a few miles from her when she would love to see me.
It’s almost become a chore for him to see me now. He was vacant the whole time I was last there and acted as if he was just waiting for time to pass so he could take me to the train station and spend time with his girl again.
I hadn’t seen him for 3 months, since his birthday, and I’d had texts off of other mates telling me that he was spending all his spare time with this girl and they hadn’t heard from him, he wasn’t going to the gym and so on.
When I last went back for three days, he couldn’t even put aside time for me. I was round with another one of our mates on a Saturday night, we had plans to go out, get a few drinks, then come back, order some food and play video games or whatever. He skipped out on going out, and invited his girl round instead and spent the evening in with her while me and the other guy came back to find them in bed. Him watching TV, her knitting.
I tried to warn him early on that she is too old for him, she is almost 5 years older than him and pushing 30, whereas he’s only just turned 24. It won’t work. She’s an 8 (Asian) at best, I’ve been with hotter girls and told him early on not to get too invested in her, there’s better out there. But he wouldn’t have it. He wasn’t looking at the situation objectively.
I’ve now made the decision to drop him as a mate, dissociate myself from him.
It’s a hard decision, as I truly saw him as a brother but I have to think about what value he is bringing to my life. Other than clinging on to memories for old time’s sake, there really isn’t any point in continuing with him if he’s able to so easily forget a 15 year friendship over a girl he’s known less than 6 months. Had I not known of the red pill, I most probably would’ve done the same thing as before.
Why spend £50 on going home when I can do better things with it?
The second example, as you will see from my profile bit at the bottom of this post and will have no doubt recognised from previous posts, is that I’m a Liverpool fan.
I used to follow them around the country, spend a fair chunk of my time on message boards and think about the team a lot. There wasn’t much going on in my life and this provided an “out” from my reality.
As the past year has gone on, as I mentioned in my last post about Being Game, my affection and obsession has diminished.
I assessed what value it was bringing to my life, spending money for pure entertainment’s sake (and it was a lot of money) which could be used better elsewhere; my main focus with my money at the moment is investing in and becoming financially independent in the next 5 years.
As I started getting more and more involved with Game and the red pill, I could see the progression I was making with my inner game, my overall state and my confidence. If I was bored at home, I would immerse myself back into the football world.
I would argue with people on the message boards and on my personal Twitter account, I would spend time writing large posts and articles on the team and I would become stressed and enraged a lot when people were posting opinions and arguments I deemed wrong, and I would be pissed off when the team lost or drew.
It was undoing the positive state I’d built myself and I was going backwards into my old slump. I was falling back into old habits and spending less time in the manosphere or working on self improvement, or indeed pulling girls.
As much love as I have for the club and sport, I’ve cut it out of my life as much as I can and I don’t use social networking to get involved with it. I no longer get pissed off when I do watch the team where I used to spend days dwelling on defeat, and it gives me satisfaction and a sense of relief and freedom knowing my state doesn’t get affected by something I used to obsess over.
It’s a wake up call discovering the red pill and embracing it.
It’s a cold approach to life, but will provide you with a better sense of self. If you can look at the things in your life that you have an emotional attachment to that add no value to it or holds you back from mental or physical progression, and you can take the cold hearted approach of cutting it out from your life for your own good, then you’re on your way.
At first, to me, it wasn’t a nice feeling and it made me feel a bit despondent knowing to cut ties to things that were holding me back. I didn’t want to, but I knew I needed to. It’s kind of like when you realise for the first time that everything in the world isn’t as it seems – your first red pill lesson.
But fuck it, we want to be better men.