The football season has just finished and it brings on a period of reflection for me.
My beloved team ended trophy-less and in a disappointing seventh place in the league. It makes me think back to years gone by, the highs and lows and where the team were at in certain parts of my life. There are certain times where not much has happened in my life over the course of a football season, and there are times where things have happened where I feel I have moved forward, ultimately not having done so. This past season has been different, however.
As this season closed, it marked a year from when I first learned about Game and Pick Up and it’s had me thinking about the person who I was going into this season, and the person I am coming out of it.
I’ve learned a lot about myself, girls, and the world in general. I’ve learned new things about how to pick up girls, how to deal with certain situations, what “tools” you should have, how to live your life and what you should think about the world. I’ve taken things in, I’ve tried things out only to discard them.
When I first got into game, I read a lot. I really mean it, I read a lot. I had certain perceptions of the world we operate in and took on board those perceptions and made them my own thoughts and opinions.
“I’m still the same person, with the same friends and with the same job, but I have game” is something I said to myself and it made me happy in the knowledge that I possessed something that the majority of guys don’t. I revelled in this new “act” I’d been taught and treated it very much how I used to treat my sales jobs.
As I’ve mentioned before, I’m naturally an introvert. I don’t like going outside of my comfort zone to speak to people, be it knocking on doors or calling people up, but there is something built in me that knows what to do in order to improve my life and myself as a person. So I did it, and I separated my persona as a sales person with who I was with my friends and at home.
I would walk the streets buzzing on energy I’d created for myself, brushing off rejections and doors slamming in my face, talking to anybody I could see in whatever situation I was in and make myself the life of the party in order to get sales and drum up interest. I quickly learned that most people buy because of the salesman, not the product, so I focussed on making the customer I was with have a good time with me in order to want to buy off of me.
I would get home at the end of a long day tired. This was my down time, where I didn’t have the pressures of play acting to people for my job so I could say nothing, I could lie down, I could play computer games, I could go on the internet and I could do whatever I wanted because it made no effect on my job. I didn’t carry anything I learned from sales into my other persona.
When I got into Game, I did the same thing. I read up a lot about alpha and beta and all that, and I again created two personas for myself. The alpha when I’m out and about, someone completely unnatural to my personality and overall make up in order to get girls; the beta when I’m at home out of the pressures of being a desirable man for girls I want to have sex with. The alpha during the day brushing and laughing off the rejections, while the beta at night pining over missed opportunities and feeling self conscious and upset about failures.
I read up a lot on the negative as well as the positive. At first, I took the negative as emotional asinine comments directed at people aiming to improve themselves but then as time went on and I delved further into Game, the comments kept creeping into my head. I would repeat the comments I saw to myself such as “PUAs are nerds pretending to be something they’re not”, “using gimmicky lines to score girls” and “acting as someone else”.
I deemed myself a “PUA” at first but over the past few months have been very keen to distance myself from such a label. I didn’t want to be seen or think of myself as someone who is just myself with “tools” to use when I want. It made me think of myself as a liar, that I would lie to girls about who I am just by communicating to them I’m something that I’m not. Lying to girls isn’t Game or Pick Up, it’s just what it says on the tin – lying. I didn’t respect myself and didn’t see any value in going home to be one person, and then going out as another character to actually lie to girls about who I was.
That’s what a lot of “PUA”s do, I’ve seen it. Even some of the “big companies” do it. Against other men, they don’t have much value, but they create value for themselves to women through lying, using routines and wearing stupid clothes or creating a unique image to stand out from crowds. It’s not genuine.
A piece of advice that I see shot down a lot in the community (and have even done so myself) is “just be yourself”. Girls hating on the manosphere also say this along the lines of “don’t use gimmicky lines, just be yourself”.
Then I thought to myself, “well, that’s probably correct”. The trouble is that most people think of “just being yourself” as being the person you used to be, who the person you are outside of the daygaming scene. The person I am when I’m not pretending to be the coolest guy in the world.
If you are yourself to girls, then it forces you to be the person you previously (or still do) lied about, because let’s face it, being the introvert geek that you are at home isn’t going to get you girls.
There’s no need to be aloof for the sake of being aloof, or telling yourself that you’re outcome independent if you’re annoyed that some girl didn’t text you back or she flaked on a date. Having Game is one thing, but being Game is on an entirely new level.
Having Game is just that, having a tool to use to pull out when you want to. Being Game is a trek down a road to self improvement that maximises the potential of your inner game. Imagine genuinely not being arsed if a 9 flakes on you, imagine telling the girls you really want to fuck the stuff they abhor because that’s who you are and not pussyfooting around it so as not to put the girl off from you.
That’s the difference in having Game and being Game. Having Game will recognise what not to say and what to say to a girl and perhaps hiding your own opinion through fear of losing out, being Game will just be you. It won’t paper over any cracks in your personality like being a PUA does, it will force you to fill those cracks through learning to become truly outcome independent and becoming the best person you can whilst not caring what others think of you.
It reminds me of the Jewish guy who lied online to girls (that I mentioned in this post) about being a millionaire. He recognised what to say to girls in order to get them into bed with him, but he wasn’t that person. I guess it all boils down to your own mission.
If your mission is to get laid over and over again without building a life for yourself, then fair enough. If you’re like me, however, and want to become rich, live the high life, travel the world and set businesses up to try leave an empire when I die, then women are only a byproduct of that lifestyle.
Showing to the world that you’re an alpha male, are intelligent, have money, can speak different languages, are well travelled and lead an exciting life is much better if it’s all true, rather than pretending that’s who you are even if the outcome in both scenarios is having sex with women.
So from that glorious free kick at the beginning of the season that Luis Suarez scored against Manchester City, to the hattrick away at Fulham from Daniel Sturridge, that is how my mentality, my thinking and my life has progressed. I came into the season with tools to use when I wanted to pull them out, and I come out of the season much closer to having all those tools ingrained to who I am, all the time.