I started using Badoo (one of those social networks that is quite ambigious in whether it’s actually a social network or an online dating site for those of you don’t know) to see if I could pipeline some Europeans for the summer trip me and Bromigo Jimmy are going to embark on soon. It has one of those ‘Encounters’ sections, where you see pictures and click ‘Yes’, ‘Maybe’ or ‘No’ on whether you would like to meet the person. I noticed I had a quite a few girls click ‘yes’ on the Badoo site and took a look and found around 20 girls in the London area. I’d seen the RVF guys and Bromigo Matt have some success from online trysts so thought I’d go through and see if I fancied any of these. I hit ‘Maybe’ on around 5, the rest were fatties and fuglies who I was not going to waste any time on.
A girl who counted French, Italian and Spanish as her fluent languages messaged me after I’d clicked ‘Maybe’. She was very keen to meet up after a few messages between us, I played the cheeky chappy questioning her on some of her pictures and profile and grabbed her number. She wanted to meet up that weekend on a Saturday night as she was going out with her friends to Dalston. I rejected on two counts, one I’m not going anywhere with a girl and her friends, secondly I had my uncle was having a huge party to celebrate his 50th birthday.
She told me over Badoo she was in London studying and was looking for work, typical of the influx of Europeans we’ve had recently, good for us Bromigos looking for hot feminine ladies of the continent. I did my best to keep myself mysterious, keep her thinking and letting her connect the dots.
My uncle’s party was pretty boss, lots of Grey Goose and Dom Perignon and pretty much a 9 hour booze and food fest, of course it left me nursing a hardcore hangover on the Sunday, fuck I hate and love champagne. My phone buzzed, an email saying I had a message on Badoo, I checked Badoo on my phone being too lazy to get up and turn on the laptop, it was Frenchie. She was hungover, did not enjoy her night with her friends in Dalston and was wondering what I was up to. I told her I was relaxing, she asked me if I wanted to come round. Damn this does not sound like a first date, she texted me her address and I was a little apprehensive, I’d never met this girl and she wanted me to go round to hers. I looked outside, fucking monsoon, more doubts, giving my brain more reasons to just say ‘No, I’m not going anywhere’, ‘She lives too far away’ (though in truth anywhere in London is within 90 minutes away due to the tube).
I could sense though that this was the chance of a lay, a real lazy lay, what with being hungover and having no energy, I decided I’d go there and see if she’d cook something for me. Luckily one of my lad Sammy was heading down that way, he gave me a lift right to her front door. I turned up with fuck all in my hands, no fags, no booze, no food, I was sure she’d be impressed… This cute little girl opened the door, damn I was surprised, she was short, in tights and a nice short dress. After an awkward ‘hey’ followed by me grabbing her and giving her the old kiss on each cheek, she led me up to her room. Man I was fucked, I just jumped on the bed and lay there, her brain was in conflict, I could see her heavy thought processes. I sat up, grabbed her by the waist and knew I had to lead. I engaged her in some thoughtful conversation, getting her to tell me about her past, childhood and how she’s half italian/spanish born and raised in France. She lay beside me on her bed as I showed her some funny youtube videos, then she showed me some of her favourites.
She got up and asked me if I was hungry, ‘famished’. She skipped away and came back with a sandwich. Fucking boss, back to lying down and few kisses, hand down her skirt, groans, absolutely shit hungover sex with no energy whatsoever and lay accomplished. She had a graet body, petite, pert tits and lovely ass, all in proportion. From Badoo to bang, man that was easy, a little bit of post bang comfort, hair stroking like she’s a little cat. However I could sense that she was already regretting the bang, I’d spent a few hours there and one of her “friend’s” had phone saying he was coming over. I texted my boy Sammy as I went to the toilet and he was about 15 minutes away enroute back home. Sweet, I kissed the Badoo frenchie goodbye, strolled past her ‘friend’ in the doorway and waited for Sammy outside. I dropped her a text the following day and no reply. Ah well, she definitely regretted it as most women do. She had sent me a facebook friend request and I had a little snoop, she had a boyfriend. Naughty frenchie off Badoo had various pictures with her boyfriend who happened to be the ‘friend’ in the corridor. So yes Badoo can be fun, and girls, do they have morals? We all know they fucking well don’t, get the bang when you can.